If you're tired of staring at all the jarfuls of brown, amputated toes cluttering up the mantel above your fake fireplace, consider shipping them off to the Sourtoe Cocktail Club: Canada's most popular drinking organizations for amputated toe-drinkers. They'd be happy to garnish their drinks with your disgusting old digits!
If I lost a leg 15 hours ago to a locomotive, I can tell you this: I would not be chilling in a hospital room, casually describing the bummer for reporters as if it were a story about misplacing my favorite hash pipe. I would be screaming. Pretty loudly, I'm sure. Or drugged unconscious. But not James Piles! James is a kind-bud-toking, one-legged warrior.