Opal Covey, a woman who identifies as a prophetess, is currently running for the mayor of Toledo, Ohio, for the fifth time. She also identifies as a miracle worker—a political Annie Sullivan, if you will—and her platforms include ridding the city of potholes and building amusement parks. “That will bring great wealth,” she recently told NBC24 on the latter.
In an effort to boost tourism, Abbottabad, the Pakistani city where Osama Bin Laden was killed, is building an amusement park. There will be all sorts of fun activities, including a zoo, a paragliding club, a rock climbing wall, water sports, and even mini-golf. But will there be a Zero Dark Thirty ride or anything else related to the city's one-time most famous resident? Alas, no.
As if you needed another reason not to visit an amusement park called Knott's Berry Farms, there's this: twenty visitors were stranded atop Knott's Berry Farm's 300-foot tall attraction, The Windseeker, for almost four hours Wednesday afternoon. This is the second time this month the ride has malfuntioned, so maybe close it or stop riding it?
Some people were born to sing; others were born to act. Peter Drakos was born to win stuffed animals at amusement parks.
Meet Shalanon Brooks, the kind of functionally retarded person you encounter frequently in Southern California. Shalanon is the owner of a Pomeranian whom she named "Malibu." (See first sentence.) She didn't just buy Malibu, but was actually prescribed Malibu for "emotional support." (See first sentence again.) Shalanon went to spend a day riding roller coasters at Six Flags Magic Mountain, but when she realized the strap of her Louis Vuitton dog carrying-case had broken, she opted to leave Malibu in her car with the windows cracked open and some water and food. (See— Enh. You know the drill by now.)
This brave young man puts his fear of being launched into the air aside to ride an amusement park ride with his friend. Once they get launched into the air; however, he starts screaming for his mother.