Gator mad. Truck approach gator. Gator see truck. Gator bite truck. Truck owner mad.
A man in Decatur, Ill. is being held on charges of attempted murder and domestic battery after he allegedly tried to murder his roommate on Wednesday when she admitted to him that she'd eaten three single Chips Ahoy cookies for breakfast. The news of the cookie consumption apparently sent him into a rage.
The internet is a rough and tumble place. To survive here, you must be rough and tough, steady under fire, thick-skinned. That's why most bloggers are known to be dashing but intimidating "tough guy" types, menacing to dudes but irresistible to women. Sadly, not everyone is cut out for this harsh environment.
University of Iowa professor and pretentious troll-journalist Stephen Bloom recently wrote an article in The Atlantic mocking Iowa as a backward, hick-filled state full of people smoking meth out of corncobs (paraphrasing). Which it is, probably! (Never been there personally, thank god.) But now Stephen Bloom has literally fled the state in terror to "an undisclosed location" after Iowans got mad at him. You're doing this all wrong, Stephen Bloom.
We're still monitoring Mitt Romney for the moment in which his bottled-up frustrations rise to an unsustainable level and he explodes, in triumphant fashion. But what would it look like? Well, there'd be body parts to go along with the machine parts laying all over the place, of course, since it would be an explosion. But stories of his previous outbursts offer some clues for what the build-up to the final blast might look like.
Yesterday morning, a tipster pointed us to this Twitter posting about our favorite New York Post sex and hatred columnist: "Just saw Andrea Peyser say "Fuck you!" to a man questioning her attempted ambushing of a man who dared to (gasp!) bring a child to #OWS." Then another tipster sent us this photo of Andrea looking positively despondent down at OWS. Why the sour face, Andrea? Perhaps her column today holds some clues!
Australopithecus sediba! Wildfire science! Real jetpacks! Persuasion methods! Solar properties Petrified forest! Heavenly metals! Anger cooperation! And Hummingbird mating techniques that drive lady hummingbirds bazonga! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—voodoo, doo doo, woo hoo!
Today, Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D - Fla.), the chair of the Democratic National Committee, made a speech against the "Cut, Cap and Balance" bill that just passed the House. It was pretty mild! Less mild was the response of Rep. Allen West (R - Fla.), who sent Wasserman-Schultz an email. A very intense email, exhorting her to "shut the heck up."
Last November, Rep. Bob Filner (D - Cali.) was re-elected to Congress. The supporters of Tea Party-backed Republican Nick Popaditch sure were gracious in defeat, though! Except for when they screamed "Jew" at Filner and spat at him.