It's so simple, babies will swoon. "Boyfriend," the first single from Justin Bieber's upcoming third full-length, Believe (a silly made up word derived from the real word "Belieber"), opens with an eerie birdcall and stark 808 clap. Then Bieber's increasingly present rapping alter-ego, Swaggy Doo (not his actual moniker, but it should be), competently says nothing and mentions eating fondue by the fire. The whatever-ness of these eight bars only makes the resulting hook that much grabbier. Saying hello to falsetto is a joy – a magically mature Bieber sounds as assured as Justin Timberlake or Robin Thicke as he floats over pairs of brusque acoustic-guitar chords in a plea that manages to be anthemic and low-key.
Meet Erik. Erik loves Justin Bieber, hates those who don't, and—in a quickly spreading online video—has threatened to ruin the lives of unrepentant non-Beliebers. Unfortunately for Erik, though, 4chan may have already turned the tables on him.