A man in Michigan convicted of having sex with his pet pit bull faces a 15-year jail sentence for the crime. 37-year-old Kurtis Peterson, who was convicted of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct in 1996, was caught having sex with the dog on two separate occasions. The same (unfortunate) person caught Peterson each time.
Chris Heath warns you up high in his GQ cover story on Robert Downey Jr., that: "Conversations with Robert Downey Jr. are rarely linear, and sometimes it takes a moment to realize how one thing might relate to the next." Yes, this seems to be the perfect way to set up the inscrutable parallel the actor draws to overly emotional acting and bestiality porn (not that he's watched it, he's just seen it being sold in Amsterdam...). Here is the powerful exchange:
The "advocacy group" One Million Moms is at it again. The group/collection of homophobic trolls, best known for protesting JCPenny not once but twice, has recently carved out a bizarre niche market for themselves by accusing popular commercials of promoting bestiality. Last year, it was Skittles; this year, it's GEICO, for the insurance company's creepy commercials in which a pig spends time with a young woman in a convertible. As ABC News describes the commercial:
Arizona couple Shane and Sarah Walker were arrested for trying to fuck a dog. Their first mistake, it seems, was all in the Craigslist ad they posted: "Wife looking for K9." Sure it's simple and it's concise, but posted in the personal ads, it doesn't leave a whole lot of mystery. Mystery, say, in case an undercover animal crimes detective is prowling the site looking for just such a couple to take down in a sting, all To Catch a Predator style.
When Slate advice column Dear Prudence explored gay male twin fucking, I assumed it was an aberration in a column otherwise devoted to wedding etiquette and mother-in-law woes. But what if Dear Prudence is actually on the cutting edge of human sexuality? What if Dear Prudence is the Penthouse Letters of tongue-clucking suburbanites?
Congratulations, America: you've gotten what you wished for. You elected Barack "Hussein" Obama as commander in chief. He quickly allowed homosexuals to serve as proud members of the US Armed Forces, standing buttock-to-buttock in foxholes next to normal young American boys. (After the war is over, they can marry, now.) It was only a matter of time before our fighting men were encouraged to start fucking dogs.
On the eve of Florida's bestiality ban, let's catch up with zoophilic memoirist Malcolm Brenner, whose book Wet Goddess describes a nine-month sexual relationship with a theme park dolphin in Sarasota. After two weeks living in the eye of a bestiality news storm, Brenner lost his job as a photographer and endured harassment. But he's also had sucess: Orders for his book are pouring in faster than he can fill them. He is in touch with an editor at a "large New York publishing house," and has told his story to audiences as far away as India.
Today is the last day that you can legally fuck an animal in Florida. At the stroke of midnight on October 1st, the Sunshine State's new anti-bestiality law goes into effect, forbidding "sexual contact" and "sexual conduct" with "animals." (So it might be illegal to have sex with other humans, too. Molds and fungi, however, are fair game.) Floridians: How do you plan to spend these precious final hours of legal bestiality?