Imagine going in for a rather routine dental surgery, and leaving with a foreign accent. That's what happened to Karen Butler after she was put under and had several teeth removed. "I just went to sleep and I woke up and my mouth was all sore and swollen, and I talked funny. And the dentist said, you'll talk normal when the swelling goes down," she told NPR. But she never went back to normal, and now has an accent that's "a combination of British, Irish and Eastern European."
History suggests that Sarah Palin's Bus Army would be stopped and forced into retreat by lamestream media forces at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, making it her furthest incursion into the Yankee North and the turning point for the larger war effort. But alas, the cowardly reporters have allowed Palin to slip through their lines and continue her march towards the munitions port at Philadelphia.
Newt Gingrich, one of the serious Republican candidates for president, is back on the subject of Muslims this week. He's not just concerned that Muslims proper will co-opt his grandchildren when they come of age. He's worried about a new ultra-breed of Muslims, Atheist Muslims, performing the dirty work. Have you heard of these people? They probably live in cities.
Vietnam vet Louis Garrett of Louisiana, Mo. ("friends know him as Shovelhead because of his love for Harley-Davidson motorcycles with shovelhead engines") has a lot of time on his hands. And in the grand scheme of things, fashioning a quilt out of women's panties is not the worst thing he could be doing with that time. Still, it's pretty strange! Apparently the idea for the panty quilt came from a magazine, which makes us think we've been reading the wrong magazines. Garrett also claims the panty quilt was a natural progression from his mannequin collection, since he had been dressing them up in lingerie. Obviously.
Elections really do have consequences, just like people keep saying! Take the suddenly super-Republican empire that is Ohio. What would a hypothetical Democratic leadership be doing in that statehouse right now? Probably hiding under their desks, looking for welfare money. Which is much better than what the current real life Republican leadership is doing today: Giving two ladies ultrasounds during a hearing over an anti-abortion bill.
Crucial point to make about Mike Huckabee: He's nuts. A nice guy, sure. But nuts! He has no idea what he's saying at any given point. Only a matter of days ago he was telling the Birther crowd to shut up about Barack Obama's birth certificate, describing it as "nonsense." But then he goes and rambles about Barack Obama's childhood in Kenya! What is even happening with this man?
"'Fuck you,' [Matt Taibbi] snarled, and then picked up his mug from the table, threw his coffee at me, and stormed out." It would be awesome if the final scene of this new Vanity Fair piece on the history of The Exile was a complex, multi-player joke by Matt Taibbi and Graydon Carter on everyone else in the media. Otherwise it's just bizarre. I mean it would be bizarre if Matt Taibbi were besties with Graydon Carter, but not as bizarre as Matt Taibbi snapping violently because a reporter failed to praise his work. Although maybe he still has the ol' horse semen running through his veins like journalistic fire!
Anyhow the whole story is great, read it all.