Demi Moore's Boyfriend Has a Pearl in His Dick

Caity Weaver · 05/22/13 11:38AM

Stars: They're just like us! Their boyfriends have pearls in their dicks! They go grocery shopping with their boyfriends with pearls in their dicks! They visit the planetarium with their boyfriends with pearls in their dicks! They decide to try a new restaurant with their boyfriends with pearls in their dicks and when they get there the service is really terrible and they're like (kind of annoyed) "Where did you find this place?" and their boyfriends with pearls in their dicks are like "I looked it up on Yelp. It got good reviews" and then they look it up on Yelp and realize that restaurant has two locations. ! Demi Moore's new boyfriend has a pearl in his dick.

Sometimes It's a Good Idea to Judge a Book By Its Cover

Seth Abramovitch · 09/13/11 01:36AM

Take a look at this photo of Caius Veiovis, a 31-year-old fellow from Massachusetts. Sure he has a 666 tattooed onto the forehead into which he's surgically inserted what would appear to be six gobstoppers — but does that necessarily make him a bad guy? Yes! It does! Very bad! Veiovis and two others are facing murder and kidnapping charges in connection with the deaths of three men, one of whom was scheduled to testify against them. So go right ahead: Judge a book by its cover. Then run! [TSG]

Horned Man Attempts to Murder Landlord with Minivan

Max Read · 07/15/10 12:31AM

This tattooed, horned fellow is named Jesse Thornhill. He was recently arrested for attempting to run down his landlord. In a 1996 Ford Windstar minivan. Naturally, we have some questions for Mr. Thornhill. Such as: