This Booze Substitute and Its "Antidote" Get You Drunk Pain-Free

Sarah Hedgecock · 11/11/13 04:21PM

For ages, dreamers, alchemists, mixologists and other enthusiasts have fantasized about a better world—a world where drunkenness wasn't accompanied by hangover, nausea or liver damage. Now, one scientist says he can make that dream a reality. Behold: the age of the "alcohol substitute" is at hand.

Study: You Are Drinking So Much Wine

Hamilton Nolan · 09/30/13 03:57PM

Lah dee da, look at you, Ms. Classy, sipping on some wine, right out of a wine glass. No pulls of Popov straight from the bottle for you! Only the best, when it comes to drinking. The fact is, ma'am, you are drunk. And no wonder. You have no idea how much you're drinking.

What's the Best Way To Get a Drink At a Busy Bar?

Ken Layne · 09/19/13 04:30PM

An empty bar is best. You just pick a seat where there's light enough to read, and the bartender comes right over. Then there are the busy nights, when people crush around the bar three deep and getting a drink seems impossible. What kind of supernatural skills are necessary for getting a cocktail on a Saturday night?

Drinkers These Days Love Disgusting Flavored Booze

Hamilton Nolan · 09/18/13 08:50AM

America, as a nation, is as drunk as it's been in a long, long time. We are seriously fucked up. We have a problem. It was bad enough when we were guzzling mouthwash and rubbing alcohol. Now, we've turned to something even more revolting: "whipped cream vodka."

Study: White Country Boys are the Drunkest

Hamilton Nolan · 09/16/13 04:06PM

Those of you who were fortunate enough to attend a high school with white, rural, male students will be unsurprised to learn that white, rural, male high school students are wasted. So, so wasted.

Americans Are Drinking Beer From Cans Now

Hamilton Nolan · 07/09/13 08:37AM

Beer-swilling Americans, globally regarded as the very Platonic ideal of refinement and taste, are renowned for their refined palates. They certainly are not the type of people to sit around on the back bumper of a pickup truck and drink themselves senseless on literally any form of alcoholic liquid no matter how disgusting while ranting about unfavored sports teams. So it is newsworthy to report that this group of gourmets is now being enticed to drink their beer out of a humble can.

Cord Jefferson · 05/23/13 04:53PM

"Operation Swill," a New Jersey investigation into bars scamming consumers by substituting cheap alcohol for quality booze, turned up one watering hole selling rubbing alcohol, caramel coloring, and other filler as scotch.

Feds Say You're Drunk Driving At .05%

Ken Layne · 05/14/13 11:42AM

From the 21-year-old drinking age to the .08% blood alcohol level now recognized nationwide as evidence of being drunk, the threat of losing federal highway funds has kept America's states from straying on booze laws. So get ready for the .05% drunken driving conviction.

Going to College Reduces Your Chances of Being a Drunk

Hamilton Nolan · 03/19/13 11:24AM

People who are uneducated boors generally assume that college is little more than a four year-long fraternity party during which the main activity is drinking vast quantities of intoxicating liquor. That's not true at all; it takes many frat boys six years to finish college. Haha, but seriously folks, I'm not very drunk at all right now—thanks to college.

Hamilton Nolan · 02/27/13 03:48PM

The average British person is too drunk to know how drunk he is.

Budweiser Sued By Drinkers in Three States for Allegedly Watering Down Their Beers

Taylor Berman · 02/26/13 09:23PM

Exciting month for Anheuser-Busch. First, they convinced Marcus Mumford-collaborator Justin Timberlake to become the "creative director" for Bud Light Platinum. And now the company is being sued by beer drinkers in three different states for allegedly watering down its beer. The lawsuits, filed in Pennsylvania, California and New Jersey, accuse Anheuser-Busch of watering down 11 of their beers, including Budweiser, the aforementioned Bud Light Platinum, and Black Crown; each lawsuit is seeking damages of over over $5 million.

Maker's Mark Won't Dilute Their Bourbon After All

Molly Fitzpatrick · 02/17/13 01:45PM

Last week, Maker's Mark faced a public backlash after announcing they would lower the alcohol content of their whiskey to meet increased demand with a limited supply (read: they think you can't handle your liquor and it's starting to get really embarrassing for all of us). They changed their minds in a Facebook post this afternoon:

Hamilton Nolan · 11/06/12 02:50PM

What can save a declining beer brand? Drunker customers.

Hamilton Nolan · 10/10/12 12:10PM

If you're the type of consumer who seeks out "vintage vodka," you are probably dumb.

Americans Are Drinking Beer Again

Hamilton Nolan · 10/03/12 08:41AM

For three long, cold years, the hardworking men and women in the beer industry have had to hang their heads, in the knowledge that we Americans have been buying less, and less, and less beer, ever since 2008. Soda? Sure, we can't get enough of that sweet stuff. But beer? Good old-fashioned mass-produced alcoholic gut-swelling, cirrhosis-inducing beer? We just haven't been interested. Until now.