Because the current way to get Botox—exit home, get into vehicle, travel to doctor's office—is way too taxing and time-consuming, Los Angeles is now home to the first-ever "mobile cosmetic care service," in which a doctor comes to you—in a "nondescript SUV"—and is in and out of your place in ten minutes. Something tells us NYC won't be far behind. [Luxist]
You now have a fabulous new excuse to offer up the next time one of your annoying friends gives you a hard time about all the money you've been spending on Botox injections and facelifts. It isn't because you're vain or anything. It's because you're looking for a cure for your migraines and you just want to God-awful pain to stop. Who could argue with that? [NYT]
Botox won't be the only option on the menu the next time you head off to see your cosmetic surgeon or dermatologist. A drug called Dysport just won approval from the Food and Drug Administration. Just like Botox, Dysport uses pure poison (botulinum toxin) to relax your muscles and smooth out the wrinkles you'd really rather not have for your upcoming class reunion. But it's more expensive than Botox—and research suggests it's less effective and riskier compared to the competition—so feel free to ignore everything you just read and stick to the lethal poison you already know and love. [Bloomberg]
If Botox-maker Allergan gets its way, one day the injectable poison, currently best known for its ability to turn foreheads into ironing-boards, will be the treatment of choice for every ailment under the sun, from migraines to enlarged prostates to speech impediments. Nothing else, marvels an Allergan scientist, "has so many demonstrated uses." And even if those uses haven't actually been discovered or verified yet, the company isn't taking any chances that a toxin-peddling competitor will cash in: It currently has more than 90 patents in place or pending for different applications of the drug:
Since among Hollywood actors, getting treated for depression is far less stigmatizing than paralyzing your facial muscles with a load of botulinum toxin, perhaps they'll all stop lying about being "scared of needles" now that Botox is officially a mood enhancer. According to a study published in the Journal of Cosmetic Dermatology, people who have Botox, and therefore lose the ability to frown, report lower levels of depression, anxiety and irritability—the theory being that the actions of facial muscles directly influence brain activity. So presumably Janice Dickinson's rages and histrionics are just for the TV cameras, and she's a picture of serenity and composure in real life.
Casting even more doubt on whether Nicole Kidman actually incubated her baby for nine months, doctors in Australia are warning that Botox can cause birth defects after it emerged that the mother of a child born deaf and blind had used Dysport, a Botox competitor also made of botulinum toxin, in her first month of pregnancy. Okay, so choosing between a smooth forehead and the joy of bringing new life into the world is a tough decision, but no one ever said being a woman was easy. Now, who's going to break the news to Mary Rambin? [SMH]
• Whitney Port explains why she named her new clothing line "Whitney Eve" (it's complicated), and explains why it is that the world really needs another celebrity clothing line. [Nylon]
• The year's best and worst windows, fashion PR stunts, pop-up shops and more. [Racked]
• More on the messy meltdown at Kira Plastinina. [Shophound]
• The recession may be putting a damper on plastic surgery, but injectables like Botox remain as popular as ever. [WSJ]
• It's well worth braving the cold weather and crowds: Panicked retailers "are practically giving the goods away with last-minute sales in a desperate bid to save the so-far-disastrous season from catastrophe." [NYP]
• Tim Gunn says he and Heidi Klum are "despondent" over the "horrible, nasty" fight over Project Runway. "We worry that season six will never be seen by anyone," he says. Us, too! [WB]
• Tory Burch's new meatpacking store opened last night with very little fanfare. [WSJ]
• Dolce & Gabbana is launching a makeup line early next year. And rumor has it Scarlett Johansson will be the face of the ad campaign. [WWD, SF]
• Matthew Williamson is in expansion mode. He's planning to launch a menswear line. [Vogue UK]
• Depressed? Single? Go get some Botox! Says Tom Ford: "A little bit of it between the brows can make you look less stern and more approachable. Who needs to frown, anyway?" [Details]
Some journalistic exercises just never get old, no matter how many times they're carried out, like the one in which a young woman asks for anti-aging procedures and then becomes mildly outraged when doctors recommend what they're in business to sell. (Slim woman seeking out liposuction works, too.) In today's Daily News, a "baby-faced" 26-year-old reporter named Leah Chernikoff goes undercover at Botox-peddlers and, what a surprise, the doctors are more than happy to inject her.
Unless you have young sons, you might not be aware that circumcision is on a downward trend, and that the anti-circumcision lobby is gaining ground. Not your problem? Well, it turns out that this issue is suddenly of relevance to everyone: Foreskins are the latest tool in the fight against aging, and we're going to need a constant fresh supply!
Guys: Were you under the impression that sticking needles into your face in an attempt to stave off the inexorable march of time was just for the ladies? Still buying into the myth that for men, aging confers a distinguished authority? Well, the manufacturers of Botox and their willing footsoldiers, cosmetic doctors, would like to remind you that staying on top professionally in this economic climate is a young man's game, and don't you want to be competitive? A certain "45-year-old publisher of a New York-based magazine" does: He confesses to the Times (on condition of anonymity!) that he's been getting Botox for years.
BREAKING: Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Joe Biden is overly concerned with his appearance! The Delaware Senator's long been famous for his terrible embarrassing hair plugs, but a story out of the Washington Post today has it that Biden might have injected terrorist biological weapons into his forehead as part of some sick stunt to not look old and tired. Botox Biden! This is important hilarious breaking news, if you just arrived via time machine from one of the last two election cycles. In 2000 no one cared about anything because there were still jobs and stuff and no war and 9/11 was just a glimmer in Osama bin Laden's eye, so the Gore versus Bush campaign was mostly about how Gore was tricked into wearing Earth Tones by some emasculating feminists. Bush proudly kept dressing like a gay cowboy hustler, damn the focus groups, so he won (except he didn't but whatever). And in 2004 even though we had a war and shitty job creation it was still for some reason all about how Bush held a bullhorn on some rubble and John Kerry went windsurfing in a gay wetsuit and he looked French and also like Lurch. So! Bush won (for real for once). And honestly you can bitch about the sad end of this magical friendly bipartisan campaign we were supposed to have with these two DIFFERENT candidates who'd be so polite to one another but so far despite an amazing number of distractions the fact that people seem determined to care about "real issues" is semi-heartening. But of course "real issues" don't make for good column fodder, so a week after the New York Post floated the Biden botox story the Washington Post's gossip columnists (both of whom, it should be noted, are absolutely wonderful people) followed up with an "lol politicians are vain" piece and Drudge linked to it because the number of credible non-killer-storm items he can allow himself to link to every day is shrinking. The End.