The official result of Britain’s referendum on whether to leave the European Union—dubbed Brexit—isn’t expected to arrive until tomorrow morning, but just minutes after voting stations closed on Thursday, four final opinion polls indicated that “Remain” has narrowly won the day, The Independent reports.
Above, we see Elizabeth II, Her Majesty the Ice Queen, examining a portrait of her as a young girl riding a blue horse, which was presented to her today by German Federal President Joachim Gauck. We haven’t seen the queen this disgusted since Kate Middleton wore the wrong shade of nude tights to tea.
Tomorrow, the citizenry of the United Kingdom will cast their votes in a general election. If you’re an American, you may have been too busy tenderly rubbing your genitals on a gun to have read much about this. Who’s fighting to lead this grey and unpleasant land onward into its inevitable irrelevancy? And how do we even do elections without an electoral college? Allow me, a Proper Brit, to get you up to speed.
Fed up with his teenage daughter repeatedly stealing his favorite cookies, no matter where in the house he tried to hide them, a British dad concocted a plan for revenge. While searching her room for signs of his missing snacks, he found she had a special stash of her own—a bottle of foul, store-brand vodka. Only one thing to do, the vengeful dad wrote on Reddit:
According to a report published in the New York Times, British, Indian, and American intelligence agencies failed to piece together major plot details of Pakistani terrorist group Lashkar-e-Taiba before they carried out the gruesome, three-day onslaught in Mumbai in 2008 that left 166 dead, including six Americans.