• The Letterman mess rolls on. The Late Show host issued another apology on his show last night, describing how the scandal has impacted his wife, Regina Lasko ("She's been horribly hurt by my behavior"), and kindly pointing out that he's not having sex with any of his current staffers. Meanwhile, Stephanie Birkitt, the woman at the center of the "scandal," supposedly wrote in her diary that she was dating alleged extortionist Robert "Joe" Halderman and sleeping with Letterman as recently as last fall, leading Halderman to flip out when he read her diary in December. [NYP, NYDN]
• So are Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem engaged? While Cruz's rep went with "no comment," Bardem's flack said, "I really don't know, but would not be able to say anything even if I did." That sounds like a "yes" to us! [People]
• Celebrity chef Todd English skipped out of his wedding at the last minute this past weekend. His jilted bride went ahead with the party anyway, while English headed to South Beach to hit the bars and clubs. Classy. [P6]
• Heidi Klum has filed documents to change her name to "Heidi Samuel," since that's Seal's last name. Please update your address book accordingly. [TMZ]
Sandy Weill turns 76 today. Jean-Georges Vongerichten is turning 52. Mixologist Sasha Petraske is 36. Peaches Geldof is turning 20. Brooke Burns is 31. Congressman Joseph Crowley turns 47. CNN's Reynolds Wolf is 39. Actress Lauren Graham turns 42. Jerry Lewis is 83. Game show host Chuck Woolery turns 68. Erik Estrada is 60. And Flavor Flav celebrates his 50th today.
· Forget about that Jesus guy, He-Man and She-Ra are the central characters in the greatest Christmas story ever told. [via cityrag]
· Perhaps the worst thing about not having an indispensable mass transit system is missing out on all the wildcat strike sex.
· Garish neckbrace model Brooke Burns is now an outspoken advocate of the buddy system.
· Elton John was genuinely enjoying his "joint stag party" with partner David Furnish, but no matter how much he tried to think about their upcoming civil union ceremony, his thoughts were filled with Bruno.
· If you were worried that Leo DiCaprio was going to have a hard time rebounding from Gisele, you can put your mind at ease. He seems to be doing just fine.
Bruce Willis ex and backyard 1-meter shallow-diving bronze medalist Brooke Burns clearly didn't learn her lesson from last month's accident. While the only apparent ill effect she's suffering from her pool mishap is paralyzing adorableness, the hundreds of copycatting aspiring actresses who throw themselves headlong into drained pools in hopes of authentically rocking a bedazzled Kitson neckbrace like Brooke's may not be so lucky, and likely will wind up in far less fabulous Swarovski-encrusted wheelchairs.