Roger Waters once wrote, "Big man, pig man, ha ha, charade you are." Was he talking about this pig who took over a Burger King in southwestern Pennsylvania on Thursday morning? He wasn't—he was talking about capitalism, or something about how you shouldn't trust authority, or maybe social inequality. Still, though, check out this pig.
Tim Hortons, the Canadian coffee-and-doughnut restaurant that recently agreed to be bought by America's third-or-fourth-greatest burger chain, Burger King, has revealed their first attempt in assimilating into our brilliant American culture by imagineering the Buffalo Crunch doughnut. Give me a fuckin break!!!
Burger King today announced that it will serve its burgers for breakfast now, as part of their new corporate philosophy, "Why try harder than absolutely necessary when the American people want nothing more than to eat themselves into oblivion to erase the pain of being locked into this zombie-like existence?"
Burger King, the fantastic land where you can find weed and razor blades in your burger, will begin selling “Satisfries” Tuesday, a crinkle-cut french fry with 20 percent fewer calories than their regular french fries. A small order of Satisfries will contain 270 calories as opposed to a 350-calorie small order of their regular fatty-fat fries.