As local Brooklyn publication Bushwick Daily announced on Monday, the December terror known as SantaCon (where adults dress up as Santa, travel to different bars, and drink themselves stupid) is planning to move from its former home in the East Village to a new parade path in Bushwick. That is, until bars and restaurants in the area announced a boycott.
What is your city's Williamsburg? What's its hippest—or formerly hippest—or sometimes just youngest—neighborhood, the one with the art galleries and the boutiques and the lines for brunch? (And what, for that matter, is its Bushwick, or "Next Williamsburg"?) If you don't know off the top of your head, don't worry. We do, thanks to the collective knowledge of Gawker readers.
Bushwick is "the coolest place on the planet," according to the Times, and yet no one seems to care about the naked woman waiting tables at its coolest restaurant — the sprawling, ramshackle pizza joint Roberta's — on Friday night. I was there and I didn't really care, though she wasn't serving our table, and we were in a kind of post-traumatic stress situation after the two-hour wait and the Venusian heat of the wood stove-heated tent out back and the woman who called my friend a "whore" in the aforementioned tent bar for trying to sit down at a table on which she (the woman) claimed to have dibs. And anyway we only caught the waitress, surrounded by customers taking photos, while walking out, stuffed with pizza and duck and pork, and when we asked we were told that Friday was her last day, and the nudity did seem to be a kind of farewell gesture; she, or someone, had written "PEACE OUT" on her back.
Updated. Bushwick resident and YouTube user TheFallGuy53 was minding his own business, sitting on his front stoop, when suddenly, an apparition of light. A UFO, lurking in the north Brooklyn sky!
Bushwick, Brooklyn was once a minority neighborhood. Really! Recently, a bunch of hipsters have moved in there. But here's a secret: Bushwick is still a minority neighborhood. It even has ten separate housing projects, which are not full of whites! But Brooklyn's minorities are boring, because they're hardly on the cutting edge of art, culture, or cheap imported beer. So when Paper Magazine set out this month to answer the head-scratchingly inane question "Can the hipster ghettos of Brooklyn really replace Manhattan?", they took the logical step of including only the relevant people in the neighborhood: tattooed nilla hipsters. Check out these scans of the magazine's photo shoot and play "Guess the area's demographics":
Bushwick, Brooklyn. Hope to working-class and poor folks, a large Hispanic population, white college-grad hipsters and their holy grail of communal living, the McKibbin lofts. (1 month of free bedbugs included.) Rents are cheap, for now. Expectations, however, are high. Bushwick, the lifestyle! Bushwick, the brand—it's all there on BushwickBK.com. And these young people would like to explain their clothes to you!
A daring Times reporter infiltrated the bedbug-ridden, crime-infested, lame-party-throwing McKibbin lofts in Bushwick. Was it dirty and gross like you might expect? Oh yes, very very much so. Also, saddest thing ever, there was a 61-year-old living there, with his wife. Unironically. Because it's the cheapest place in town. Where to begin? With the urine, I guess:
What do you do when you need to find some good stars for your upcoming porn film, but are too cheap to put a free ad on Craigslist? Hang a flier on a pole in Bushwick, of course. And to maximize responses, just leave space at the bottom for everyone interested in starring in your low-budget fuckfest to write in their name, "Length, Girth," and email or Myspace address. Don't worry, your friends will respect you in the morning. It's a perfect opportunity for you indie rock kids in "Bushdick" to earn some extra cash between jobs. Click through for a bigger picture, and to read the enticing pitch: