This morning Andy Richter tweeted, "Possibly the most insulting thing ever" with a link to these shoes. For $525, you can show off your paint-splattered shoes without ever having to lift a brush. One of Richter's followers, Ivan Khatchatourian, countered with a slashed army t-shirt on sale for $1,137.50.
It's April Fool's Day, which means you've probably already been tricked into believing something amazing and then mocked for your gullibility. Isn't this fun? But for those who want to live vicariously through other people's pranking, here's a collection of reader submissions sent in following my appeal on Friday.
Everyone's getting laid-off these days, what with the economy and all, and now we want to know what you'll be doing for money while the dust settles. There aren't any media jobs left and desperate times call for desperate measures. Depressing stories have already been trickling in, like the two longtime Jersey Star-Ledger newsroom employees who, after refusing a buyout, were banished to the mailroom! Or the Longmont, CO, Times Call staff who were invited to be valet parking attendants for their (probably soon-to-be ex) boss's fancy Christmas party. And, perhaps worst, a Hachette memo to staff inviting them to participate in the saddest thing of all, a holiday crafts fair. You know, so they can practice a trade before they inevitably get canned! "You will have the opportunity to show or sell your craft such as jewelry, accessories, chocolates, knitting and crocheting," it says. Sigh. Send us your post-axing, new job tales (depressing or not!) and we'll publish some of our favorites in the coming dark days. In the meantime, read the full dismaying Hachette memo after the jump.
Well look, the market is up again, how (pardon me) UTTERLY FUCKING RETARDED. What this means: another huge plunge is invariably in sight! Because the government achieved this by outlawing short-selling temporarily on all the big stocks you'd want to short, and what the hell are hedge funds supposed to do about that? Gawker tipsters all over financeland are predicting a protracted bloodbath over the next couple months as investors sign up to get their money out of hedge funds. Dozens could go bust. But hey, here is a silver lining: hedge funds are for rich people! (Well, not anymore, now that America is running the world's biggest hedge fund with our tax dollars.) But hedge funds used to be for only the rich, and with your help we can illustrate how rich people are stupid. Inspired by this story about an insane Merrill Lynch investment vehicle called NORMA one expert quoted in the Wall Street Journal called "a tangled hairball of risk", I'm holding the Awful Vodkas I Have Drank of the plutocracy, an "Absurd Financial Product Some Rich Person Actually Bought" contest. I asked one of our tipstering financiers about the most retarded investment vehicle he'd ever seen.