Every year, Americans are treated to a long procession of assemblies in which Hollywood's most creative minds boldly suggest there is intrinsic entertainment value in watching people give prizes to themselves. On Sunday, we passed the first of these. And yet, for the 71st straight year, the most deserving martyrs of all—the actors pretending to be humans on our favorite reality shows—went uncanonized.
Camille Grammer, the villain-turned-goddess of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, will not be returning to the Bravo series next season. There is some speculation that Bravo decided to get rid of her, but given what she told US Weekly, it sounds like they just didn't want to pay what she was asking.
If the Republican debates are the second greatest televised spectacle about matters that are only slightly abutting reality, then the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion specials are the first. Here is a ranking of how each woman fared in last night's fiasco.
Last night when fortifying myself for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion, I realized it had a lot in common with that other great reality show of this year: the Republican Debates. Yes, there will be a million of them, everyone in attendance is ridiculous, nothing will get decided, and there will be a lot of yelling across the room.
There are those moments where your life changes in an instant and you don't see it coming: a mugging, an accident, the phone call that a family member has died. You were just having a wonderful day and then—slam—something snaps and all the gears come tumbling out of the watch in a comical and tragic disarray. That's sort of what happened to Taylor and Russell last night. The carousel finally stopped.
Last night was a good old-fashioned Western in the rolling hills of Beverly. There were cowboys and showdowns and horses and homes on the range and even some wenches in fancy corsets. But when high noon came none of the little dogies could get along.
Down Periscope actor Kelsey Grammer and his newly ex-wife, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Camille, bought their Avon, CO ski home in 2002 for $5.35 million, and are now selling it, in the ash-strewn aftermath of their very public divorce, for $7.9 million. "Let's make a profit off this bitch!" — Everyone involved in this marriage from the get-go.