France: home of good cheese, strong wine, some other shit, and an advertising festival named Cannes Lions. Early Tuesday, two randy festival-attendees were overcome by their love of creativity, advertising, and their love for each other—some might call it joie de vivre—that they took to fucking on the red carpet in clear view of a late night rooftop bash above them.
Last week, the Cannes Film Festival was the site of several movie-worthy crimes of its own, as both a a million dollar jewel heist and a shooting caught on camera reportedly took place on the same day. And on Sunday, news broke that another high-profile burglary hit the French Riviera during the prestigious festival.
Clockwork ballerinas Nicole Kidman and Zac Efron are starring in a new movie called The Paperboy, directed by Precious' Lee Daniels; it just premiered at Cannes, and Vulture's Kyle Buchanan saw it. Tell us, Kyle, what was the best part? Was it... the part where Nicole Kidman pees all over Zac Efron?
This musical star isn't just hiding the fact he's gay, but also that he likes to get rough with the "hired help." These celebs were divas at Cannes, this actor likes women to beat him in bed, and this right-wing politician has a closeted spouse. It always comes back to gays and rough sex, doesn't it?
Lars von Trier's trainwreck press conference is the gift that keeps on giving. The Telegraph posted video of von Trier's Nazi meltdown, and it's the second-most awkward press conference footage I have ever seen, right after Gloria Allred's baseball bat masturbation press conference. Seated next to Von Trier, Kirsten Dunst covers her face with her hand and looks mortified. Unless it's leftover mortification from Lars' "really, really, really hardcore" comment?
If you were rich and famous and had a movie to promote, you would be in the south of France right now basking in the sun and strolling down the red carpet in a couture creation. But you're not. You're reading this on the internet somewhere. Because we're jealous, let's all make fun of the stars who are there, shall we?