Women Be Shopping For Cars

Hamilton Nolan · 12/31/13 10:30AM

Women. When they're not dying, they're spending more money on cars. What is up with that, ladies?

Los Angeles Declares War on Pedestrians

Max Read · 12/26/13 09:06AM

In most places, walking, the fundamental process of mobility for humans, is an indispensable activity, on par with breathing. In Los Angeles it is a crime, with an associated $200 fine.

Maggie Lange · 06/18/13 01:14PM

Jalopnik profiles "the most interesting man in car porn" in an article replete with all sorts of fun themes you look for in a feature—sex, drugs, drones, and fast cars.

Crashing Through Manhattan In The Fake Google Driverless Car

Adrian Chen · 04/24/13 02:43PM

Google's driverless car is still in the early stages of development, but the unit spotted tooling around Manhattan this month was in rough shape even for a beta test. One particularly noticeable bug was the passenger hanging out the window in an Osama bin Laden mask. In another glitch, the car hit a cyclist in Soho, where the aftermath was caught by an Instagram user. Others might have spotted the Google car proudly cruising by, oblivious to the traffic cone wedged firmly under the bumper. And all this was before the power-slides, rubber-scorching donuts and fender-benders…

There Are No Used Cars For Sale Any More

Hamilton Nolan · 02/21/13 11:09AM

In my day, if you wanted to buy a car, you just opened up the "newspaper" to the "classified ads" section and looked under "used cars." (Later, you had to find some money also.) Things change. These days, none of those things in quotation marks exist any more.

Europeans Hate Cars

Hamilton Nolan · 02/19/13 03:25PM

Europe, an expensive overseas cooking school populated by pussies, is still busy finding ever more outrageous ways to offend American sensibilities. First, it was the whole WWII thing, which we had to go straighten out ourselves. Then there was Monty Python. (Was he making fun of us? I think he was making fun of us.) And now, these Eurotrash types are too good to buy cars, all of a sudden.

Guy Steals Tim Allen's "Hot Guy" Car, Claims to Be Allen's Son

Taylor Berman · 11/26/12 08:45PM

For starters, Tim Allen's favorite car isn't a Porsche or a Jay Leno-ish vintage ride; no, it's a souped up 1996 Chevy Impala, which, according to Allen's website (totally worth a visit, by the way), "holds a DOHC 32-valve Corvette ZR1 engine and delivers 446 hp at 5500 rpm." I don't know what that means, but it sounds fast and loud. Also of note: "The rear also includes a "Binford 6100" badge. (Binford is the hypothetical tool manufacturer from Home Improvement's "Tool Time" show.)"

Happy Thanksgiving From the 1Pursent

Hamilton Nolan · 11/20/12 04:55PM

A reader sends this photo of a vanity plate that everyone can enjoy, taken on a street in Bushwick, Brooklyn. "The front of the car was all smashed up," she adds.

The Target Audience for Lincoln's New Car: Cat Funeral-Holding 'Magicians'

Hamilton Nolan · 10/09/12 08:46AM

Lincoln, the auto company whose average customer is the same age as Abraham Lincoln, has a problem: they're rolling out a hot new car, and they would like to sell it to some people who may not be about to die. Where is the more youthful, affluent audience for this stupid car? If you said "probably buying a BMW," you are far too honest to ever be a chief marketing officer.

Everyone in California Basically Sharing the Same Used Car

Hamilton Nolan · 08/15/12 09:46AM

Selling used cars is a pretty good business: you buy crappy old cars at rock-bottom prices from desperate people; sell these crappy cars to desperate people at inflated prices; repo the cars when the desperate people run out of money; and then sell the same cars all over again.