Halfway through the trailer for Ben Stiller's remake of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, the title daydreamer—stuck in the rat race with boring men in boring suits at Life magazine— lifts his eyes from his desk toward a photograph on a bulletin board. Now here's the payoff, when staid reality breaks into excitement, and the nebbishy lead is drawn into the world of fantasy and adventure that Fox is betting will win our $12 and two hours come Christmas. It's a photo of Sean Penn.
Adam Levine does not hate fragrances. Adam Levine does not hate celebrities. Adam Levine does not want you to be alarmed by a scent. Adam Levine has inadvertently created the best video of the day with the promotion of his new "unique" aroma.
If you want to wrap your head around the absurdity of celebrity in 2013, the New York Times Magazine's recent profile of Stalker Sarah is a good place to start. Sarah, 17, spends 40 hours a week hunting down celebrities so she can take pictures with them for little to no monetary profit on her end. From the profile:
When we first met Holly Madison, she was heroically rescuing the iconic Landsdowne portrait of George Washington from the 1814 Burning of Washington by British troops. No, wait. That's Dolley Madison. When we first met Holly Madison, it was on an episode of Cribs. She was living at the Playboy Mansion with a bunch of similarly proportioned women, calling Hugh Hefner "Puffin," and pleading with him to put a ring on it. He refused, because he would never marry again. She seemed perfectly nice.
If you've not seen George "Jason Alexander" Costanza lately, perhaps you don't know that television's most famous bald man is now trying to convince the world—via a toupee? Hair plugs? Something—that he in fact has a luscious head of brown hair. As a man who has not yet had a problem with hair loss, far be it from me to tell anyone how to deal with a retreating hairline. The line I'm more concerned with is the timeline.
Setting out to prove the catchphrase "fake it till you make it" correct, some nobody named Brett Cohen made himself look like a somebody by hiring photographers, bodyguards, and other hangers-on to follow him around Times Square and make him look famous.
If you've been anywhere near Twitter this evening, you know something truly wonderful and unique and amazing and THE BEST is happening. In the space of two hours, Kanye West has tweeted 60 times and counting on, uh, his earnest pursuits in the realm of fashion and graphic design and nutrition and architecture and video games and publicity and medicine and law and science and app guys. You think Tom Ford is full of himself? Kanye West shits Tom Fords for breakfast. Then he irons out the shits into cutting-edge fabrics, and frantically cuts, sews, and laces that fabric through the night and into the morning, until he has produced the most unbelievable clothes — nay, FASHION + ART = FARTSHION! — in the universe. And he calls these clothes DONDA. But he calls all that other stuff DONDA, too! DONDA will be your everything. Just you wait and see. And what is DONDA?
It's an acronym for Dis Original N***a Dresses Aight.*
Canadian researchers have been studying a 22-year-old woman and lifelong amnesiac who can't remember the faces of anyone unfamiliar or non-famous. Show her a photo of baby-voiced celebutante Paris Hilton, however, and she has almost no trouble identifying who it is. Paris Hilton's face will not be stopped.
This morning on Today, while promoting Friends With Benefits, Mila and JT brought the testicular humor as they talked about the Marine Corps Ball. Mila declared, "Marines have a lot of balls." Justin agreed, "Marines got balls," and added, "we want to pay honor to our country and embrace their balls." Justin continued to ham it up even after Lester Holt ended the segment.