Terry Richardson Tried to Finger Bruce Willis' Daughter at a Bar

Maureen O'Connor · 03/08/12 10:56AM

21-year-old Scout Willis is a senior at Brown University and, according to Ivy League gossip blog IvyGate, behind pseudonymous Twitter account @BougPunk where she describes her boozy exploits. Among them: Avoiding Terry Richardson sex acts, stealing from American Apparel, and sneaking into Chateau Marmont (Does the progeny of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore really have to "sneak in"?) and charging snacks to Lindsay Lohan's room.

Ten People Who Should Quit the Media in 2012

Hamilton Nolan · 12/30/11 10:00AM

This is not just a list of media people we don't like. Nor is it just a list of media people who had a bad year. This is a list of media people who—abundant evidence shows—should not be in the media, any more. Give it up. Try something else. (We'll even make a suggestion.) You've given it a shot. It's not working any more. The media is not for you.

Chelsea Clinton's Super Boring TV Debut

Hamilton Nolan · 12/13/11 11:20AM

Yeah, last night was the TV debut of Chelsea Clinton, NBC's newest """""journalist.""""" All you non-famous kids out there who saddled yourselves with a lifetime of debt in order to pay for journalism school, who are now either unemployed or underemployed or stuck at some boring dead end niche publication wondering how your journalism dream turned out so differently than you imagined: maybe Chelsea Clinton will put you in one of her charity news segments on teevee one day. That would be a dream come true for you.

Chet Haze Thanks 'Good Peoplez' of Northwestern For Coming Through with Study Notes

Seth Abramovitch · 12/06/11 11:20PM

[Updated.] Yesterday, we brought you an email sent out at 4 a.m. by a frantic Chet Haze — multi-hyphenate hip-hop impresario/Northwestern junior theater major/Rita Wilson's son — to his entire philosophy class, after realizing he was missing a month's worth of class notes for a term paper due THAT DAY. You've undoubtedly been able to to think of nothing else since.

Urgent! Chet Hanks Needs Help Finishing His Final Paper

Lauri Apple · 12/05/11 07:08AM

A Northwestern University student-tipster who's enrolled in the same American history class as Chet Haze—the rapping, acting, West Side (of Evanston)-dominating consequence of Tom Hanks' potent ejaculate—passed along this email that Haze sent across a listserv at 4 AM this morning:

Celebukid Reporters and the Age of News-ertainment

Hamilton Nolan · 11/14/11 10:05AM

So, Chelsea Clinton is joining NBC "News" to "report" on "Making a Difference." We'll pause here as you get out all of the obvious jokes. (Pause.) Great. Now, let's take a moment to contemplate just how vapid our nation's most powerful "news" networks really are.

Play Date of the Century: Angelina Jolie and Gwen Stefani

Maureen O'Connor · 09/26/11 06:51PM

Behold, a play date that will make a thousand social-climbing mommies seethe with envy: Angelina Jolie brought her brood to Gwen Stefani's London home today, for a play date and dinner. Looks like Kingston and Shiloh got into one of their moms' makeup kits?

Chet Haze Is Getting Wacker

Hamilton Nolan · 06/02/11 12:39PM

Hello, America. Chet Haze—Northwestern University's most prominent rapper-actor whose father starred in Turner & Hooch— has released a new track. This one really is some janky, Justin Timberlake-grabs-the-mic-at-the-8th-grade-school-dance type shit. More so than before. Anyhow, enjoy.

Theodora Richards Busted for Graffiti, Drugs

Remy Stern · 03/02/11 05:37PM

Theodora Richards, one of Keith Richards's perpetually nude model/socialite daughters, was arrested in New York last night for tagging "T♥A" on a Soho building with a paint marker. She was taken into custody, and when searched by the cops, weed and Xanax was discovered.

Celebukid College Joke Rap Genre Reaches Its Nadir With 'Pussy Breath'

Hamilton Nolan · 02/22/11 12:57PM

It's okay for college kids, or white kids, or even rich and famous kids to like rap; or even to rap themselves, if they happen to be blessed with that particular talent. But it's not okay for rich famous white college kids to butcher rap music, for laffs (on purpose, or unintentionally). Not any more, at least. Maybe it was funny the first time someone tried it, oh so many years ago? We doubt it. But maybe. Now, though... we present you with Pussy Breath.