The 'Obama Phone' Program Has Nothing to Do with Obama

Cord Jefferson · 09/28/12 10:50AM

For a few hours yesterday, the top link on the Drudge Report led to a YouTube video in which an Ohio woman said she's going to vote for President Obama because he gave her a phone. The woman is inarticulate and she speaks loudly, and on top of those things she's black. Basically, she is exactly the kind of person many on the right envision—wrongly, it should be said—when they think of who is guzzling from the government teat these days. That she was bragging about Obama giving "every minority in Cleveland" luxuries like cell phones was just the icing on the cake.

You're All Paying Too Much for Your Stupid Phones

Hamilton Nolan · 09/26/12 02:47PM

News flash: Americans, who are, on average, not a bunch of wealthy muckety-mucks lighting their cigars with Benjamins, are spending too much money on their stupid cell phones. We as a nation have cut back on our overall spending even as we're spending more on our precious "smart phone" bills. Smart phone? More like... unnecessarily expensive device!

New York’s Butts Forever Trying to Holla at Firemen

Caity Weaver · 05/09/12 10:49PM

A study of New York City's emergency communications system has revealed that New Yorkers' butts are steady calling the operators at 911, asking do they like them, asking are they asleep yet, asking what are they thinking about.

Call Me...Maybe? Wireless Providers to Disable Stolen Phones

Caity Weaver · 04/10/12 07:54PM

AT&T, Verizon, Sprint, and T-Mobile are teaming up with the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to make it harder for thieves to use stolen phones, since you seem hell-bent on accidentally leaving yours everywhere.

Actually, Teens Are Not Constantly Sexting Each Other

Max Read · 12/05/11 09:37AM

Everyone knows that teenagers these days are lust-crazed flesh demons hell-bent on utilizing technology you don't understand to "sext" each other videos of themselves dancing naked to the dubstep and the rap. So what gives with this new study claiming that only one percent of 10 to 17-year-olds have sexted?

Pakistan Bans 1,700 Texting Words, Including 'Satan,' 'Glazed Donut,' and 'Monkey Crotch'

Seth Abramovitch · 11/21/11 12:06AM

The Pakistan's Telecommunications Authority has issued a list of 1,700 words it considers "offensive and obscene," and has demanded that mobile providers begin filtering them from text messages as of Monday. The list, which contains hundreds of familiar swear words as well as some truly puzzling choices, is meant to curb SMS spamming, according the PTA, which it defines as "the transmission of harmful, fraudulent, misleading, illegal or unsolicited messages in bulk to any person without express permission of the recipient."

How To Text Like a Horrible Monster

Ryan Tate · 11/01/11 05:23PM

Would you like to behave like a terrible manipulative teenager into your late 20s? If so, text messaging can very much help, as detailed in the Wall Street Journal today.

Cell Phones Don't Cause Cancer, If You Trust the Danish

Seth Abramovitch · 10/20/11 10:17PM

Great news, people who don't want brain cancer! A Danish study of 350,000 people over 18 years has found no link between that disease and cellphone usage. This contradicts the WHO's findings, who ruled they might cause cancer. [BBC]

Blackberry Outages Sweep North America

Maureen O'Connor · 10/12/11 01:54PM

White collar professionals across America are spinning their trackwheels in vain today, the day the Personal Digital Assistants died. Widespread BlackBerry outages in Europe, the Middle East, Africa, and India reached North America today, leaving thousands of cubicle dwellers in the U.S. and Canada mashing their fingers against microscopic keypads in vain.