Fuck Boston

Hamilton Nolan · 10/31/13 12:34PM

Last night, for the first time in 95 years, the Boston Red Sox won the World Series at home in Fenway Park. Fuck the city of Boston, in general.

What's That Now? Lincoln, Nebraska is the Best City in All of America for Well-Being

Maggie Lange · 03/27/13 09:29AM

According to a Gallup poll, the city with the best well-being in all of America is Lincoln, Nebraska. With a proud composite score of 72.8 on Gallup's well-being index, Lincoln beat out the perhaps more natural choice of sunny destination city Boulder, Colorado by one-tenth of a point. Another mountain gem Burlington, Vermont followed close behind. Lincoln, on the other hand, was originally settled because of proximate salt flats and marshes.

Please God No More Boston Gangster Movies

Hamilton Nolan · 02/05/13 06:03PM

Today, in movie news, we learn that Johnny Depp will be playing the role of notorious Boston gangster Whitey Bulger in an upcoming film based on Bulger's life. This should not be confused with the other Whitey Bulger Boston gangster movie that Ben Affleck will be making after he makes a movie based on a Dennis Lehane novel that is also about Boston gangsters.

Harrisburg, Pennsylvania Is a Broke-Ass Sinkhole of Despair

Hamilton Nolan · 02/01/13 10:45AM

In 2011, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania went bankrupt. Municipally bankrupt. The city is broke, tapped, in penury, scraping by on nada. Personal bankruptcy is tragic, and corporate bankruptcy is financially significant, but there is something especially pitiful about municipal bankruptcies. An entire city of thousands, whose leadership has failed them. It's like watching a scrappy but flailing football team losing in a particularly bloody way.

Hamilton Nolan · 01/28/13 05:13PM

The "happiest city" for PR pros? Hades. Just kidding, it's Phoenix. Same thing.

Millennials Will Destroy Our Cities Coming and Going

Hamilton Nolan · 12/04/12 10:07AM

The biggest demographic challenge of our times is this: how can we funnel the "Millennial" generation away from our nation's biggest and best cities and into some isolated holding area—a rural internment camp, perhaps—where they cannot do damage to all of the grown-ups, or make a lot of noise at all hours? The bad news is that we completely failed at this. Millennials have infested our nation's cities. The worse news is this: cities now do not want those Millennials to leave.

Scranton Is America's Most Financially Fucked City

Hamilton Nolan · 07/11/12 09:05AM

Sure, it's true, cities and counties from Alabama to California have given up and declared bankruptcy due to this ongoing Recesssion of Doom. Hell, San Bernardino just declared bankruptcy yesterday. But those cities are quitters. They've taken themselves out of contention, the losers. For an American city that is still trying to survive financially, and failing miserably, there is no better example than Scranton, PA—the jewel of Lackawanna County.

Are These Really the Gayest Cities in America?

Brian Moylan · 01/09/12 05:30PM

For the second year The Advocate, a gay website with an impossible to find print component, has published its list of the gayest cities in America. For the second year it is so incredibly wrong that I can barely contain my gay rage.

Whites Are Officially a Minority in Your City

Hamilton Nolan · 08/31/11 10:41AM

We're going to come right out and say it: our urban neighborhoods are being overrun by minorities, and they're ruining everything. Bushwick? Full of minorities. Bed-Stuy? Infested. Even Harlem. All ruined by hordes of minorities. (White people.)

The List of World's Most Expensive Cities May Surprise You

Brian Moylan · 07/12/11 05:05PM

Hey, New Yorker in your $2 jillion a month apartment, drinking your $97 dollar latte, and reading your newspaper for free on your $6,587 iPad, you think you live in the most expensive city on Earth, don't cha? Wrong! In fact, you probably couldn't even find the most expensive city on a map.