The woman who threw a shoe at Hillary Clinton last week is apparently a conspiracy theorist who believes Aurora, Colorado mass-shooter James Holmes was duped by "a group of cabal evil worldwide crooks who want to control the world through false flag attacks akin to George Orwell 1984." She adds, "I look like g.i. jane."
Mark Gorton is a prominent financier and a respected entrepreneur. He founded the music sharing site Limewire, and he runs Tower Research, a famed high-frequency trading firm. Gorton also believes that the "ruthless" secret cabal that assassinated JFK and planned 9/11 could be coming to kill his family.
The search for Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 is now in its tenth day, and as authorities attempt to make sense of the plane's disappearance, and family members grapple with the likely loss of its 239 passengers, the internet is hard at work trying to figure out what happened. Some theories are obviously wrong (aliens?). Some are just probably wrong—but their plausibility has led to widespread dissemination online. Here are four of the least crazy-sounding:
In the aftermath of John F. Kennedy's assassination almost 50 years ago, the nation watched as the casket carrying the body of the former president went through the process of a state funeral, eventually ending its journey in Arlington National Cemetery. The casket didn't contain all of JFK, however — his brain was missing. And a new book claims his brother stole it.
Note to Pat Robertson: When your batshit crazy ravings have gotten too batshit crazy for your very own television network, it may be time to dial down the batshit.
Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez, who for many years took great glee in voicing anti-American sentiments, died this week at the age of 58, following a long battle with "an unspecified cancer in the pelvic region." Just before he died, Venezuelan vice president Nicholas Maduro ejected two U.S. diplomats from the country and vaguely charged them with infecting Chavez with cancer, saying he was "attacked with this illness."
Now that the story of Christopher Dorner seems to have come to its end, it's time to start rewriting it. Enter the Dorner Truthers. These are the people, a number of whom are on Reddit, who have noticed the strange fact that, in less than a week, reports put Christopher Dorner's wallet and ID in three different places, each of which were miles away from one another.
In America we are all endowed with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of conspiracy theory. In America we are all free. A new study, from Fairleigh Dickinson University, has found 63 percent of registered voters in the U.S. believe at least one political conspiracy theory. That is three in five people.
"This is a simple, logical video," the text on the screen reads. "No aliens, holigrams, rituals or anything like that, just facts." (All sic.) There's some light piano (from Guns 'n Roses' "Estranged") playing in the background. "New information comes up every single days, so by the time you see this video there may be a lot more evidence that has come to light." In a few seconds, the guitar solo kicks in.
Meet Robin Verrecas, an 18-year-old owner/creative designer from Oostkamp, Belgium, who has worked for Coca Cola since birth, or so says his Facebook. This would be amazing in itself, but no matter what Verrecas accomplishes in life, it will always be overshadowed by his freakish resemblance to Justin Bieber. He seems at peace with this: one day when he was "B o r e d," he did a Chimpmunks-style lip synch to Bieber's "Girlfriend" and uploaded to Vimeo, and he often poses in pictures with the same, "I'm constipated...but should I be at this age?" look that Bieber is fond of.
When the sunny unemployment figures came out this morning, savvy conservatives knew that something rotten was afoot. A 0.3% decline in unemployment—one month before an election? Tell us another one, NObamatards. And now, these clear-eyed zealots may have found the smoking gun that they need to prove that something that is clearly not a conspiracy is, in fact, a conspiracy.
It's the inverse of Godwin's law: As a Tea Party discussion grows longer, the probability of anti-semitism approaches one. It appears we just reached that moment in the discussion of Sandra Fluke, the "slut" who ignited a right-wing witch hunt by daring to discuss her health insurance plan in public.