Via Eat The Press we found this excerpt from Cosmo EIC Kate White's new contribution to literature, How to Set His Thighs on Fire: 86 Red-Hot Lessons on Love, Life, Men, and (Especially) Sex. It's pretty much what you'd expect: Kate thinks confidence is sexy, Kate thinks sexiness comes from attitude, Kate uses the word "sex," "sexy," or "sexiness" at least once per sentence. But what really set our own thighs on fire (well, it was this or the eczema) was the following bit. Read it slowly. Savor it. See if you know where it leads.
• Times Op-Edster Frank Rich's son Simon signs a two-book deal before he even graduates from Harvard. Well, good for you, Simon — but can you make a mean and tasty Chex Mix like Dad? [HC]
• Best publicist quote of 2006 thus far: "I very much resent and am amazed that our agency was not named to the shortlist of 'Small PR Firm of the Year' by PRWeek." Courtesy, of course, of Ronn [sic] Torossian. [PRWeek]
• Because every alcoholic is a lonely soul, the Drinking With Steve DVD features a fellow boozehound sitting there, silently, drinking beers and smoking cigarettes. If he had a bong, it'd be perfect. [Ad Freak via Pulp Culture]
• A blog solely devoted to bad pitches — as if there were any other kind? [Bad Pitch Blog]
• The CorcoDevil's new ad campaign tugs on your heartstrings, pokes at your stomach, and ultimately fucks with your bowels. [Corcoran]
• The soft launch at Morimoto begins; start saving your paychecks now. [Jossip]
• The day we lost our virginity, we realized that Cosmopolitan was on crack regarding all matters sexual. Maybe if they hired this guy, it would help the situation. [Is Anyone at Cosmo Getting Laid?]
We'd like to wish a belated happy birthday to Cosmo EIC Kate White's secret weapon, her daughter Hayley, who celebrated her 16th birthday yesterday. We understand the Super Sweet 16 party is this weekend — don't know the venue, but we're betting on Lexi Lehman's Crush, the go-to opium den for Manhattan's most privileged minors.
• The original Cosmo girl, 83-year-old Helen Gurley Brown, wanted so badly to be on Ellen DeGeneres's talk show that she sent in an "audition tape" featuring her performing a choreographed dance to the best of Andrew Lloyd Webber. The adorable dinosaur even sported a leotard, but apparently that didn't arouse Ellen's libido. [Gatecrasher]
• Porn star Jessica Jaymes is attempting to sell a story of her sexual encounter with Jessica Simpson's pseudo-hubby Nick Lachey for $1 million. No one's interested, perhaps because no one's really surprised. [Page Six]
• Yoko Ono is pissed that Dateline NBC commemorated the 25th anniversary of husband John Lennon's death by devoting airtime to his killer, as opposed to promoting her new book. [R&M]
• In the latest GQ, Woman of the Year Jennifer Aniston lashes out at Page Six's Richard Johnson, saying his coverage of of her breakup with Brad Pitt "was just a game to him, this sick [expletive]." Aw, Jen — Johnson's not playing games. He takes his sick shit very seriously. [Page Six]
• Jake Gyllenhaal denies rumors that he used a body double for his meat-tastic role in Jarhead. We certainly hope he didn't, or else that'll destroy the imagery for our top 5 masturbatory fantasies. [Scoop (2nd item)]
• Jenna Jameson uses MySpace.com? Strange days, people. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
Construction has finally begun on the last of the boom's media skyscrapers, a tower for Hearst, owner of Cosmopolitan and much else. We would make some superstitious remark about business nemesis, inevitably follows real estate hubris, with a nod to AOL Time Warner. But the Hearst tower, designed by Norman Foster, is rather stylish. It's hard to think of a better waste of investors' money.
Foster's Hearst building [Wired New York]
[Former] Deputy Prime Minister of Iraq, Tariq Aziz, apparently enjoyed reading Conde Nast magazines. Found in his abandoned house: dozens of Vanity Fairs. (He likes the personality profiles.) In the bathroom: copies of Vogue, GQ, Cosmopolitan, and a few dog-eared Danielle Steele novels. In the child's room upstairs: photos of Disneyland and Britney Spears.
A peek at a leader's life [WaPo]