It's been three days since two carjackers drove a stolen SUV into a family selling fruit in north Philadelphia, resulting in the deaths of three children, but police still have no leads on the suspects' whereabouts, who disappeared on foot after the accident. The reward stands at $110,000 for their capture.
Another woman who had previously accused Bill Cosby of sexual assault has repeated her claim to Katie J.M. Baker, describing how she was "assaulted a number of times." A "source close to Cosby" characterized Baker's work to BuzzFeed as "a gal at Newsweek that's frisky, looking at some of these things."
The pope met with his former butler today in order to pardon him for turning over embarrassing confidential Vatican papers to an Italian journalist. As official Church pardons go, it was "intense and personal," and was followed by the customary annual anti-gay Christmas address. But compared to other papal pardons, it barely merits notice:
The next time you get caught doing something you shouldn't (stealing food off a friend's plate, coveting thy neighbor's wife, etc.) one way you could try to get out of it is by opening your eyes really wide and yelling "Oh, what, what time is it, where am I, oh, man, I was asleep, bro, I was fast asleep and I just woke up and found myself here doing something I shouldn't – what happened?"
People are into some crazy stuff, but John Gallagher, 19, was arrested for breaking into his old high school in Missouri, stealing boys' underwear from their lockers, and masturbating on them. He was charged with burglary and unlawfully entering a high school. Being stuck in the past and a general pervert aren't crimes yet, which is just sort of sad.