Hamilton Nolan · 02/27/13 03:48PM

The average British person is too drunk to know how drunk he is.

Here Is Footage of Selena Gomez Drunk at a Golden Globes After Party

Rich Juzwiak · 01/15/13 05:35PM

Like everybody else in Hollywood, Disney Channel alum Selena Gomez was trashed after Sunday's Golden Globes ceremony. Watch above as Justin Bieber's 20-year-old ex wobbles and slurs gushing praise for the show (which was great on weed, too, according to...uh...one of two of us who led Gawker's Liveblog of the ceremony). "It was a good moment for me," she says of Jennifer Lawrence winning Best Actress Musical/Comedy for Silver Linings Playbook. She clarifies, "I don't even know her, but I think she's so cool." Oh.

Eat Like the Stars: A Course-by-Course Golden Globes Menu Analysis

Caity Weaver · 01/04/13 06:44PM

The best thing about Golden Globes night is that it provides dinner to a roomful of stars who otherwise could not afford to feed themselves. The celebs sit smushed elbow-to-elbow at round dinner tables and the International Ballroom of the Beverly Hilton looks like an Olive Garden the ad sales department has rented out for its 2003 F-ad-bulous Employee Recognition Dinner. Also everyone gets wasted, which is great for .gifs.

What Should You Buy For Someone Who Is Drunk More Often Than Not?: A Gift Guide

Kate Bennert · 11/22/12 05:00PM

Drunk people aren't as easy to buy gifts for as you might think. It's true that everything they need to keep themselves entertained comes in a nice little bottle, but on the other hand they could probably really use something practical to compliment their drunkenness—something they can appreciate even when they are sober and something you can appreciate even when they are drunk. But what do you get for a person who likely won't remember that you bought them a gift? The best path to go down is the one that will make you both happy. Whatever you buy should triple as a durable necessity for when your drunk friend is too drunk, something that will minimize your involvement in their late-night shenanigans, and something that will still seem like a useful/fun gift if they open it sober.

Anheuser-Busch Isn't Thrilled That Denzel Washington's Functional Alcoholic Character in Flight Drinks So Much Budweiser

Taylor Berman · 11/05/12 08:39PM

Apparently, all publicity is not good publicity if you're one of the fine and Moral corporate types at Anheuser-Busch. It seems as though their trademark product, the mediocre but perfectly acceptable Budweiser, is prominently featured in the new film Flight, which is about a functional alcoholic named Denzel Washington who flies planes for a living, or something along those lines. One of Washington's self-destructive beverages of choice is Budweiser, a fact which has the company all in a tizzy because, you see, despite spending hundreds of millions a year to push Bud on anyone who watches any sort of sporting event, Anheuser-Busch is all about responsible boozing.

Unbelievably Wasted Girl Tries to Have Sex With Tree After Getting in Fight With It

Max Read · 03/28/12 12:51PM

Check out this video of an unbelievably wasted girl tries to have sex with a tree after getting in a fight with it, at Ultra Music Festival 2012, as a crowd gathers in a circle chanting "fuck the tree." Download our free drugs sex tree fight Megaupload Ultra rave ecstasy sex. Free Ultra 2012 download fuck the tree rave music Skrillex Bieber. Drugs Tree. [via Hipster Runoff]

Busted Drunk Bus Cop Too Drunk to Ride Bus

Hamilton Nolan · 12/30/11 09:33AM

Here you see (an extremely uncooperative) Carlos Fabara, an NYPD sergeant of 14 years experience, being hauled off a Greyhound bus and arrested, for being drunk. Too drunk to ride a Greyhound bus? Think about that. A helpful Youtube commenter explains: "yeah so before the video was taken, he and his friend were stumbling drunk and slurring when they boarded (too early) and refused to get off when they were asked to wait outside with the other ticketed customers. Plus, the driver was on a short fuse after [a man was kicked off for smoking cigarettes in the bathroom], so things just escalated really quickly. they weren't doing anything in particular, but they also weren't cooperating. not really sure if they deserved to get arrested, but the one officer did."

Your Partner Is Making You Binge-Drink

Lauri Apple · 12/17/11 03:10PM

After studying 208 unmarried couples and their drinking habits, researchers at Canada's Dalhousie University have discovered that the binge-drinking of one partner in a relationship often transfers to the other partner. Alcohol abuse is a contagious disease.

America So Drunk

Hamilton Nolan · 11/17/11 10:19AM

Uhhhhhh. Ugggghhhh. Ummmmmmfffff. Dude we were like... what time is it? Fuck. Morning in America already?