Newt Gingrich is going to win the South Carolina presidential primary tomorrow. Not just because he yelled at two debate moderators for asking him debate questions this week, which brought him up about 20 percentage points in the polls. That wasn't enough to close the deal. But now that television survivalist Chuck Norris has endorsed him in a meditative World Net Daily piece, Romney's got no chance.
As Governor of Texas, Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry enacted a policy of providing in-state tuition for the children of illegal immigrants, thereby not completely alienating the country's fastest-growing populations. For this, he was roundly punished by the Republican electorate. But he has a secret weapon: America's favorite fascist Joe Arpaio!
It does not seem like a question of whether retiring Sen. Joe Lieberman will support a Republican in the race for his Senate seat, but which Republican he will support. Which one would annoy Democrats, the people he represented as a United States vice presidential candidate in 2000, the absolute most? This is a call he cannot afford to get wrong. Joe Lieberman is on the eve of great decisions.
Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch recently endorsed Republican Bob Turner in the special election for Anthony Weiner's old congressional seat, helping him pull off the upset against Democrat Dave Weprin. Koch, who supported Obama in 2008, wanted to punish the Democratic party over "President Obama's open hostility to the State of Israel." But that was all a few weeks ago! He's now changed his mind and endorsed Obama, after being invited to a fancy party.
I bet the whole first half of this ad isn't even Tom Brady's feet. I bet he was like "Look, I'll do your UGG ad for a billion dollars but no way am I actually putting a pair of UGGs on my feet, even though I am the world's biggest metrosexual. That's not even manly enough for me, and look at my haircut." Also Mos Def changed his name immediately after doing the soundtrack to this ad, for obvious reasons.