America's Jerkiest Sheriff to Endorse Rick Perry

Max Read · 11/27/11 04:35PM

As Governor of Texas, Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry enacted a policy of providing in-state tuition for the children of illegal immigrants, thereby not completely alienating the country's fastest-growing populations. For this, he was roundly punished by the Republican electorate. But he has a secret weapon: America's favorite fascist Joe Arpaio!

Joe Lieberman Deciding Which Republican He Wants to Replace Him

Jim Newell · 10/24/11 12:00PM

It does not seem like a question of whether retiring Sen. Joe Lieberman will support a Republican in the race for his Senate seat, but which Republican he will support. Which one would annoy Democrats, the people he represented as a United States vice presidential candidate in 2000, the absolute most? This is a call he cannot afford to get wrong. Joe Lieberman is on the eve of great decisions.

Ed Koch Changes Mind, Decides That Obama Doesn't Hate Jews

Jim Newell · 09/27/11 02:35PM

Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch recently endorsed Republican Bob Turner in the special election for Anthony Weiner's old congressional seat, helping him pull off the upset against Democrat Dave Weprin. Koch, who supported Obama in 2008, wanted to punish the Democratic party over "President Obama's open hostility to the State of Israel." But that was all a few weeks ago! He's now changed his mind and endorsed Obama, after being invited to a fancy party.

50 Cent Playing Coy With Presidential Endorsement

Hamilton Nolan · 09/16/11 09:05AM

Since the day of Barack Obama's inauguration, pundits and purveyors of "horse race" political journalism have been asking with increasing fervor: who will disconcertingly baby-voiced rapper and Vitamin Water vendor and trusted political power broker 50 Cent endorse in 2012?

Tom Brady Wears UGGs, Haha, Loser

Hamilton Nolan · 09/09/11 08:02AM

I bet the whole first half of this ad isn't even Tom Brady's feet. I bet he was like "Look, I'll do your UGG ad for a billion dollars but no way am I actually putting a pair of UGGs on my feet, even though I am the world's biggest metrosexual. That's not even manly enough for me, and look at my haircut." Also Mos Def changed his name immediately after doing the soundtrack to this ad, for obvious reasons.

Snooki Is Building an Empire

Brian Moylan · 01/06/11 12:11PM

Jersey Shore's Snooki has hired a firm to slap her name on every sort of product imaginable. And she's applying for trademarks on a variety of her catchphrases, too. The Snooki onslaught is coming—and it's scary!

Bush: 'I'd Have Endorsed Obama If They'd Asked Me'

Max Read · 11/10/10 02:17AM

During the 2008 campaign, President George W. Bush told a group of visiting Brits that he "probably" wouldn't vote for McCain, according to Financial Times writer Alex Barker. That's not all: He also said he would've endorsed Obama if asked.