Here's how all those "spotted" items get in gossip columns: celebrities eat at restaurants, restaurants tell their PR people, PR people call gossip columnists, and—voila!—"Celebrity A was spotted at Restaurant B last night." But what if the restaurant is a shitty chain eatery, and the "celebrity" is a 13-year-old girl whose father decided to get into politics and who has never taken an affirmative step toward establishing her own notoriety? Same thing.
Have you heard the one about the Disney Channel star in a nude-photo scandal? No, not that one. Or that one. But rather Adrienne Bailon, the co-star of Disney's series Cheetah Girls and, before last weekend, among the network's last remaining female talent not to have half-naked pictures of herself circulating online. Good thing she has a friend in the crisis-publicity racket, right? Alas, she has neither a crisis nor a friend if her mercenary flack-turned-famewhore gossip Jonathan Jaxson's stunningly dumb TV mea culpa is any indication.We'll get to the details in a bit, but we know what you're probably thinking: Who? But even if Bailon's name escapes you, Jonathan Jaxson is likely enough of a gossip-culture parasite to leave a mark: The 25-year-old former publicist for the Backstreet Boys is the same freak who last year solicited Perez Hilton's aid in boosting the profile of his upstart blog, JJ's Dirt. And by "solicited," we mean "offered to whore himself out for a private Perez sex tape in exchange for interviews and other [ahem] resources." When both the sex tape and Perez's help failed to materialize, Jaxson fed their IM chats to Page Six and eventually published the blogger's phone number on JJ's Dirt.
PRWeek got predictions about the election from 30 flacks around the country. One (1) of them predicted a McCain victory. So be sure to hire Nick Kalm of Chicago's Reputation Partners for strategic counsel on how to horribly embarrass yourself in any large, public group! "Regardless of who wins, however, the level of partisan rancor will be so high, it will make people long for the 'good old days' of Bush's second term," he says. Okay, just for that we will print his entire god damn answer below:
Sometimes you have to make an effort to reinstate communications with (or in our case, about) old friends who you haven't spoken to in a while. We used to write regularly about the travails of Jonathan Cheban: party boy flack, designer, and former Access Hollywood correspondent and Lizzie Grubman partner. But we've said barely a word about him since February, when he supposedly registered at Barney's for his own birthday party. Jonathan is simply too crucial a character in the celebutard publicity machine to go unnoticed. We hear he still leads a very eclectic social life. What do you hear? Anyone with important Cheban information, please email us.
Dan Klores is the smartest man in PR. That's because he's not in PR any more. He founded his eponymous agency, which made (and still makes) him a ton of money, and then decided, "You know what? Fuck this shit. I'm gonna make movies." Now he spends all his time making (actually good!) documentaries and hosting soirees for various power brokers, without ever having to deal with the actual PR industry much. And he's about to move further up the entertainment industry food chain, because HBO has signed him to direct a movie version of his Believe-it-or-not psycho documentary Crazy Love. This, I will watch.
OK! is the celebrity magazine that is the most willingly manipulated by celebrity flacks, which is really saying something. So it's perfectly appropriate that the magazine just promoted sleazy former celebrity uberflack Rob Shuter to its executive editor position. That's because Shuter is skilled at doing the two things that OK! is most famous for: lying on behalf of celebrities, and losing other people's money. Even he, the great fabulist, couldn't write a more sickening script than this.
Obama's newest flack is former journalist! It's cute when journos move to politicians' press offices and pretend they'll still give a shit about The People's Right To Know. "The thing that really made me feel at peace with the decision is this conversation we had about telling the truth," Linda Douglass says. (Obama's DIFFERENT he cares about CHANGE and TRUTHS.) And so, it begins. [WP]