NYPD commissioner Bill Bratton and his predecessor Ray Kelly have not been getting on of late. Last week, Kelly—who is promoting his book—accused Bratton of manipulating crime statistics. “Shame on him,” Bratton said at a press conference Tuesday. “Let him back up that accusation.” Aw yeah, back that thing up.
Meeting a new person and then flirting with them can be a tense, sweaty experience. Chances are you’re going to say some words they’ve heard before, which is boring; you’re going in with one strike against you. Why not give yourself a fighting chance by arranging those words in new and riveting constructions to reveal odd facts you have recently learned from Wikipedia?
Flirting with strangers is nerve-wracking. You don't want your flirts to come across as boring, but walking the tightrope between "intriguing" and "crazy" can be perilous. Even seasoned pros occasionally skew toward the latter. Take Cuba Gooding, Jr., for example. On Monday, he told a lady at a party that his name was Dick McWilly AND that he'd just gotten out of jail AND that he'd had sex with a leprechaun.
"WHO WAS THAT BOY?!" Twitter yelled, in a panic.
Fellas. Fellas? Fellas. I know how it is out there on the "battlefield of love" in this modern world, so to speak: the rules have changed. It's hard to keep up with what's "politically correct" these days in the wild and wooly dating arena. Can you compliment a coworker? On her outfit? Or her eyes? Or her ass? Can you touch her ass while doing so? How about her tits? Is she allowed to drive? To vote? What are the "rules?" You'd need a spreadsheet to keep it all straight. Fear not, homeboys (slang for "friends"): here are the new rules of flirting.
We know how it is. You were raised completely by the internet, your entire personality is an online creation, and though you're suave on IM, the prospect of chatting up a girl in person is a strange and terrifying prospect. Some of you have been reduced to paying hundreds of dollars to professional wingpersons to help you approach women in public. Fret not, lovelorn computer aliens. Help is here.
What should have been just another interminable conversation between two mind-boggling A-holes took an intriguing turn down Rainbow Alley last night, when Fox News host (and self-loathing Gleek) Glenn Beck accidentally blurted out, "I could kiss you in the mouth" to Rick Santorum on Thursday's show. (It was in response to Santorum saying that he'd signed the "Cut, Cap and Balance" pledge, which is apparently the fiscal conservative equivalent of announcing, "I just scored a pair of Lady Gaga floor seats!")
This guide is perfect for one who is unsure about flirting. Even if you are the local strumpet, it still offers some good pointers on perfecting your game.
This is a lesson that the women of the world have known for a long time, but thanks to HBO's Horatio Alger story for hipsters, men might get hip to it, too. Oh, what a cruel world that will be!
Ryan Seacrest got all up in Simon Cowell's grill last night on Idol. It all seemed a bit theatrical and forced, but it just reeked of sexual tension. Why? Because Ryan Seacrest wants to make sweet love to Simon Cowell.