This morning, Forbes made a big announcement. Tech darling Elizabeth Holmes—the founder of the disgraced blood-testing firm Theranos—is no longer a multi-billionaire. Instead, Forbes estimates, she’s now worth “nothing.” This is a delicious scoop of schadenfreude, but it’s one that nonetheless obscures that Holmes was always actually worth, to use Forbes’ term, nothing.
In a now-deleted Forbes column that was published yesterday afternoon, contributor Bill Frezza brought victim-blaming all the way back around to suggest that "drunk female guests" who get raped at fraternity parties are actually the "threat." Yep, "Drunk Female Guests Are the Gravest Threat to Fraternities" is the headline that made it on to the site.
Earlier this week, Forbes released its annual breakdown of "Hip-Hop Cash Kings"—the highest-paid rap artists of the last year. It's an interesting calculation for many reasons, including the revelations that Pitbull made more than Drake, that both Nicki Minaj and Avicii brought in more than Kanye, and that the top 20 spots contain five white guys, one of whose names rhymes with Tacklebore.
The most surprising aspect of Forbes' list of the world's highest paid models is that the names here don't make more money. Considering that DJ Pauly D earned $13 million within the very same time frame, the $7.2 million second-highest-grossing figure Miranda Kerr brought in seems low. Also, no Kate Upton.
Forbes published a rundown yesterday of America's top-paid CEOs, based on data from its annual billionaires list. That's how we learned that there's an annual billionaires list, because apparently billionaires need something to obsess over besides billions of dollars. There are 1,426 billionaires among the human race's 7 billion or so members, meaning you have a roughly .00002 percent chance of becoming a billionaire, all other things being equal. But of course all things are unequal, and your odds are pretty improved if you didn't grow up in a favela or a shanty on the banks of the Ganges. (Good news, developed America: You account for 442 billionaires, the most of any country on the list!)
Forbes released its list of America's Most Miserable Cities this week, with appearances from the usual smattering of former manufacturing towns in the Rust Belt, bankrupt municipalities in central California, and burned-out coastal shells. Do you live in any of these cities? Are you unhappy? Would you describe your unhappiness as conditional and dependent on external forces, or so pervasive you barely notice it?