Because there's only one acceptable answer when your mean dad tries to get you to choose between mommy and Santa Claus.
Is there anything more gratifying than quitting a crappy job in dramatic, bridge-incinerating fashion? I don't think there is! But maybe we could ask Adam, former Taco Bell shift manager, since he seems to have some experience in that department. Adam submitted his sign-based resignation ("I QUIT - ADAM/FUCK YOU :)") on Thursday night; apparently he was upset that he was denied time off on July 4, despite having worked 22 days in a row. [WIVB via Fark]
The New York Times trips and stumbles all over itself today in an entire article about songs with the work "Fuck" which does not contain the word "Fuck." Your prayer is answered, NYT: "Bless You," the Christian remix of Cee-Lo's blasphemous hit. Completely soothing to the easily-offended sensibilities of New York Times editors! (Except for that keyboard player.)
What, you thought the animated typography video released alongside the hit new single was a real music video? The official music video for Cee-Lo's "F*ck You" features the singer's life as a bitter male that's unlucky in love. Video inside!
The Internet's been buzzing all day about "Fuck You," a new track from Cee-Lo Green. The only negative here is that it didn't come out in time to be dubbed "Song of the Summer," because it's criminally catchy. Listen inside.
Sam Zell is the charismatic CEO of the Tribune Company. Charismatic in a way only journalists would appreciate, which means he's always cursing about something. It's amazing how a quick "fuck you" has kept his staff charmed. But after yesterday's Newsday cuts, Sam Zell's "Fuck Yous" are more than straight talk—he's really going to fuck his employees.
So the ombudsman at the Chicago Tribune, in his role as Mr. Serious And Humorless, told gnomish, cussing old man/ billionaire Tribune owner Sam Zell that Zell's "profanity-laced remarks"—that would be "fuck you"— were causing some concern among staffers. Particularly the chicks! So Zell was like, I'll tell you what, ombudsman Timothy J. McNulty: Fuck you too, pansy! Get back to work! We're paraphrasing, of course. But that's the message!