Today in Dallas, the city held a memorial service for the five officers killed by Micah Johnson last week. The service was attended by Barack and Michelle Obama, among others. It was, as you would expect, a somber affair for everyone—everyone except George W. Bush, who was ready to fucking party.
Mark your calendars: In July, the National Archives intends to publicly release over 1,000 pages of records from the George W. Bush administration pertaining to Skull and Bones, the Yale secret society that counts both the former president and his former president father as members. If we’re lucky, maybe we’ll learn whether Dubya’s grandfather Prescott Bush—also a Bonesman—really dug up and stole the skull of Geronimo from the Apache warrior’s grave, as Skull and Bones legend holds he did one night in 1918.
When the faceless editors of Wikipedia decide an article is not fit for public consumption, it’s gone, only accessible to the site’s top editors—at least, it was. But now we’re keeping track of all the articles Wikipedia doesn’t see fit to print, to present you with very best of the site’s weirdest and worst. Please, enjoy.
At tonight’s CNN Republican Presidential Town Hall in Columbia, South Carolina, after months of struggling to connect with voters, Jeb Bush finally said something we can all relate to: He thinks his brother’s painting habit is “really weird.” Jeb didn’t refer to W.’s naked self-portraits specifically, but I’m sure those haunt his dreams.
Jon Stewart learned the gruesome details of the CIA's torture of detainees along with the rest of us yesterday, and it made him feel like Mr. Creosote after a wafer-thin mint. Which is to say, he wanted to puke—an understandable reaction after learning an inmate's meal was "pureed and rectally infused," apparently resulting in "no actionable intelligence."
A declassified summary of the Senate Intelligence Committee's $50 million investigation of the CIA's torture techniques of captured militants after 9/11 was finally released today. As expected, the report describes methods used by CIA operatives that went beyond the scope of what was authorized by the White House, CIA officials, and the Justice Department.
A teacher at McKinley Middle School in Washington, D.C. sent their sixth grade students home with an assignment from a "war and peace" section in the curriculum: compare and contrast Adolf Hitler and former U.S. President George W. Bush in a Venn diagram. "Both men abused their powers," the teacher apparently explained.