The secret, barely-read Saturday Times is all girls, girls, girls. America's Lycra-wearing teenage daughters enjoy being pinned to the ground! Also, there is some concern about their cervixes. Sure, there's a paltry 350 right-column words on some nonbinding House resolution, and 290 left-column ones on the CIA operatives indicted in Italy, but all that pales to the glorious, glorious middle. Yes, people are fighting over whether to HPV-vaccinate sixth-grade girls, but more than that, said girls are now—wait for it—wrestling with boys!