“Hi, I am a reality show producer looking for an assistant for a Real Superman Show.” Simple, yes? No. This is “high concept” metaphysical stuff, and you, potential assistant, need to grasp the tenuous connection between phenomenal celebreality and literary fiction, so please bear with this producer for 5,500 words.
The folks at Gawker Creative Services — the ones responsible for the little sponsored posts that run on the front page from time to time — is hiring. Read on if you're interested.
Gawker Media's advertising team seeks an HTML-savvy, Excel-tolerant, Photoshop-friendly Intern who will lug their laptop to the NY office each day to perform entry level feats of data entry, ad banner banging, spreadsheeting, and maybe code contortionism. The marketing industry calls this 'trafficking.' We call it heroism.
Nutty and strangely adorable Courtney Love has job opportunities for you! First, she's seeking someone honest to clean up after her. "i need a non thieving non freaky housekeeper," she writes on her MySpace page. But the candidate doesn't have to be entirely "non freaky" she clarifies: "is anyone insanely clean neatfreak near malibu?" But if cleaning isn't your specialty, how are you with a camera? "also i need we need a documentarist, someone to document our studio as we go in wedsday, and i have ALOT of work to do til then and i wont just hand this to hbo or bbc 2 or bravo and god forbid not vh1! A DOCUMENATRY NOT A REALITY SHOW. get in touch with jason whp will further put you in touch with jason wienberg at untitled." The full ad after the jump.
While you might not recognize the name Tiffany Pollard, anyone who has followed Vh1's Celebreality franchises over the last three years certainly knows the name New York. After getting rebuffed by Flavor Flav on the first two installments of the gloriously trashy Flavor Of Love series, she became one of cable television's biggest stars when the premiere episode of I Love New York became the most-watched series premiere in the network's history. Now, having proved to be one of reality television's most resilient stars (along with Real World / Road Rules vets like Mark Long and Coral Smith), Tiffany "New York" Pollard is now attempting to be the first person since Real World: London's Jacinda Barrett to make the successful leap to silver screen stardom on her newest show, New York Goes To Hollywood. In the show's first episode, New York learns that, just like any other aspiring actor or actress, she needs to get herself a manager before she has the opportunity to show what she can do on the casting couch. Sadly, the monologue she delivered for a room full of low-level talent scouts — the kind that would have trouble scoring a table for 4 at the In-N-Out Burger — made Brian Atene look like Stanislavski's most prized pupil. Her poorly performed (yet hilariously overacted) riff on dog shit and public transportation awaits you after the jump.
The following email was sent by the deputy editor of The Straits Times, an English language newspaper in the only growing market for print papers left: Asia. Singapore, specifically. The editor would like to know if maybe anyone who is going to get laid off from the New York Times would like to go work in a country whose "press freedom ranks below Nigeria and just ahead of Russia." They are in dire need of copy-editors, apparently! The last couple were maybe caned? Email below, via Thomas Crampton.
"Words Without Borders, an online magazine for literature in translation, is looking for writers with a distinctive voice and point of view to blog literary festivals, readings around town, and international literary and translation news. Literary bent, reliability, a good grasp of grammar, and global cosmopolitan outlook a must. ... Contributions can be frequent or more occasional upon mutual agreement. 6 month commitment minimum. ... If you are unfamiliar with our magazine, please read it first to get a sense of what would fit with our content: www.wordswithoutborders.org. We are a general interest magazine. Position is unpaid."
It may well be the second-worst job in the Valley after screening YouTube videos for copyrighted content. But we suspect that one of you twisted sorts reading this might actually enjoy this gig. Valleywag is looking for a video producer. Part of the job is sitting on your couch watching TV clips; part of it is getting out and about, digital camera in hand. If you're interested, apply on Valleywag Jobs.
Do you have a camera, editing skills, balls (we speak figuratively, of course, as we're an ovary-positive shop), and a total disregard for either your professional reputation of your personal safety? If you answered affirmatively to most of the items in that list, you may have a place on the Defamer team. We're looking for a video freelancer to handle an exciting array of future projects that involve brazenly sticking your lens in places where it probably doesn't belong. If you're interested, continue on for a list of some requirements and the way to submit yourself for consideration: