The celebration of the year of our Lord Tayla's birth continued yesterday on the Ellen show, when T. Swift dropped by to promote 1989 and tell everyone her deepest, darkest fear. "I'm scared of being framed," she said, in the voice of someone who's certainly not covering up multiple murders as we speak.
Outstanding news, terrified Americans who watch too many fearmongering cable news crime stories: for the first time in nearly 50 years, homicide is not one of the top 15 causes of death in America. First a black president, and now this! Why, it's damn near impossible to get anyone to kill you these days. America is a safety festival, and everyone under the age of 75 is invited.
Here's a video in which a man describes a shooting that took place "30 feet" from the Occupy Oakland site. According to the San Francisco Chronicle, protesters said they "did not recognize" the victim, who was shot in the head and died shortly thereafter. Nevertheless, Oakland mayor Jean Quan has asked protesters to shut down their camp.