If you love excitement, you're going to love these last years of your life. Civil war, food riots, monster storms and a lot more apocalyptic religious extremism will spice up even the dullest and most comfortable existence, according to a new United Nations report on the now-constant insanity we boringly call "climate change." But even the weather seems to be capitalist, because the demons of global warming most enjoy hurting the poor.
Apocalyptic Snor'eastercane Sandy is upon the Northeast: flights are cancelled, school is closed, public transportation is shut down, and the supermarket is out of batteries and good soups. Here's a map of Sandy's projected path; New Yorkers, if you're wondering whether or not you live in an evacuation zone, here's a map. We recommend you read the following pieces (and write it all down on a piece of paper in case the power goes out).
Sweden is weathering a rare "tropical hurricane," forcing Swedes to use the term "tropical hurricane," with quotation marks, because this whirling dervish is strange to them, exotic, bewildering, foreign. Sweden's hurricane is named "Katia." She is Class 1, and tore through British Isles earlier, killing one. [The Local, The Local]
"Why does the Weather Bureau name killer, monster storms after people?" asks Mark Soifer, son of Irene, poobah of Ocean City, New Jersey. "My kind, loving and devoted mother (perhaps a bit bossy, but nice bossy) should not be associated in any way with a mindless mass of wind, rain, and destruction."
Wha—? Maybe—? No, I have no idea, I'm not going to bother trying to evaluate. This surreal video apparently shows a pair of National Guard trucks driving down the street in Manville, NJ, fully submerged in water. At the end of the video, camo-uniformed guardsmen climb out the windows and onto the vehicles' roofs. As the increasingly annoying cameraman wonders, "How is that possible?"
Restaurants in New York City have been tweeting their Sunday brunch offerings, not their structural damages reports. Mayor Michael Bloomberg is declaring "the worst" to be over. A few city streets were flooded, but it wasn't that bad, and the vast majority of people who live along Irene's blustery path up and down the East Coast have survived. How can this be?