On Friday, Gawker reported that Vogue’s brand-new offices at 1 World Trade Center had a predicament as old as New York City itself: a rat infestation. It’s already gotten so bad that editor-in-chief Anna Wintour is wary of entering her personal office. Over the next three days, two other outlets reported even grosser details. You might want to sit down.
As Americans slowly masturbate their pudgy, formless bodies into oblivion, it has become increasingly clear that soon a new species will arise to fill the void once occupied by the only race to have set foot on the moon. And, lo, here is that species: The "Hairy Crazy Ant."
In 2009 Rexburg, Idaho couple Ben and Amber Sessions purchased a house in the country thinking it would be the perfect spot to raise a family. That is until they noticed the snakes. The hundreds and hundreds of garter snakes that lived under the house.
The sidewalk at Mulberry and Grand Streets near Little Italy was closed down for several hours today so that beekeepers could remove a swarm of bees that descended on a mailbox on the corner. Apparently this is a natural phenomenon that happens this time of year when hives get overcrowded. Well, just because it's natural doesn't mean it isn't creepy.
How is Fox News supposed to bring the REAL news to the American mainstream when they are busy fighting off a bug infestation of the newsroom? If only we were making a metaphorical joke about the network's tendency to employ cockroaches. We're not! A liberal media outlet, the New York Times, reports that Fox News discovered an infestation of the dreaded, disgusting BEDBUGS a few weeks ago "when an employee 'caught a bug and showed it to us.'" YUCK. But Fox News employees get even nastier than that: One of them brought the bugs in!