In what would have made for a compelling multi-episode arc on season 5 of America's Next Top Model, former Top Model contestant Lisa D'Amato broke her nose in several places and shredded her forehead, lips, and chin to ribbons in what she calls "a freak accident" earlier this month. (Warning: the photos below are graphic and NSFW.)
You wrenched your neck. You sprained your ankle. You tweaked your back. You banged your knee. You tore your rotator cuff. You cracked your toe. You have plantar fascitis. You have bursitis. You have arthritis. You jammed your finger, broke your nose, lost a tooth, and you really hope that shooting pain in your chest is just a passing heart attack, rather than broken ribs.
Urban biking is dangerous, and especially so when drivers are going out their way to decapitate you. This video, taken from a CCTV camera in Bristol, England, shows bus driver Gavin Hill intentionally swerving into cyclist Philip Mead. Mead landed 10 feet away with a broken leg and a fractured wrist, and Hill has reportedly been sentenced to 17 months in jail.
68-year-old Sen. John Kerry suffered two black eyes and a broken nose playing hockey around New Year's. It's great news for children, who can now throw away the regular terrifying John Kerry Halloween masks they wear every year and buy the new completely horrifying bruised version. (What? Look, the only reason we're making jokes about John Kerry's ugly face is because it's fun.)
Theoretical question: What does a congressman who never bothered to tie his tie properly, comb his hair, or button his top shirt button even when he was trying to win elections dress like after he's announced his retirement and stopped caring entirely? It really is an interesting theoretical question.