The (now former) North Las Vegas Chief of Police Joseph Chronister retired yesterday, and with it, he’s decided to reveal some of the more disturbing goings-on in the force. More specifically, the fact that “what he believed to be” child pornography somehow just kept “popping up” on Mayor John Lee’s iPad—which the cops then helped him promptly delete.
“Some heartless monster stole an iPad prototype from an Apple developer’s home in Cupertino,” begins nearly every article written about the incident. It’s still at large! They took drugs and money! Did we mention the iPad? Oh—and a man was also kidnapped. But please do let us know if you hear anything about that iPad.
George Zimmerman doesn’t want anyone to know what happened between him, his wife and her parents during a domestic dispute on Monday. The Associated Press reports that Zimmerman tried to destroy an iPad that his wife used to record the dispute, breaking the device into several pieces. (According to the transcript of the 911 call his wife placed, he used a pocket knife.) Police are now trying to determine whether the footage can be salvaged.
As we speak, Gawker Media gadget site Gizmodo is live
blogging writing about the forthcoming release of Apple's iPad 3. Will the new device have a screen? Will it have a blade for stabbing Nook users? Will Steve Jobs descend from the heavens with a chorus of angels? Will the angels be clothed, or will there be "naked private parts"?
Thrown off a plane. Subject to a proposed boycott. And now this, a final humiliating insult to Alec Baldwin, for playing an iOS app when he shouldn't have: The Federal Aviation Administration says the actor's airline nemeses can use iPads in flight, even while prohibiting Baldwin from doing the same thing.
In her New York Times Sunday Book Review critique of the hottest book on the planet, Walter Issacson's 630-page biography, Steve Jobs, Janet Maslin quotes a passage in which the author extolls the triumph that is the iPad, as well as the tens of thousands of apps that can run on it. "One that he mentions," Maslin writes, "which will be as quaint as 'Pong' some day, features the use of a slingshot to shoot down angry birds."
Their lips still chapped from smooching Apple, the news media have discovered they must now suck up to Facebook, too. Just as Apple has the wildly popular iPad, Facebook has 800 million users, many of whom check it first thing in the morning in place of a newspaper. Which is why everyone today leapt to go to work in Mark Zuckerberg's money mill, and thanked him for the privilege.