You know how sometimes you overhear a group of 14-year-old girls talking at an Applebee's and one of them—the pretty, grown-up one, or maybe The Australian—says, "Aidan wanted me to give him a blow job last night," and another one, the one in the sweatshirt with a teddy bear rollerblading on it, asks "Why, was his hair wet?" and all the cool girls laugh and laugh, so she laughs too but you can tell she Just Didn't Get It, so you lean over and say "Hey, loser, me and all your cool friends can tell you Just Didn't Get It"?
Nathan Lane turns 54 today. Novelist Paul Auster is turning 63. Public relations heavyweight Howard Rubenstein is 78. Actress Isla Fisher is turning 34. Actress (and Gwyneth mom) Blythe Danner is turning 67. Actress Maura Tierney is 45. Director Frank Coraci (The Wedding Singer) turns 43. Real estate heiress Denise LeFrak is 68. Morgan Fairchild is turning 60. And Tallulah Belle Willis, the daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, celebrates her 16th birthday today.
• A "bone-thin" Elin Nordegren moved a big bunch of belongings out of the Florida mansion she shares (shared?) with Tiger Woods yesterday; she's supposedly headed "somewhere warm" for Christmas. As for Tiger, it seems he's going to spend Christmas with "the boys." Maybe Rachel Uchitel will stop by for a visit? According to tabloid reports, Tiger is still in contact with Mistress No. 1, and is hoping to squeeze a little time to get together. [NYP, NYDN, People, Us]
• Lindsay Lohan may have to put off any more trips to rescue exploited children living in Third World countries. A judge has ordered her to start attending her alcohol education program classes "every single week" because, well, "it's been long enough." [Us]
• Why did Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson break up? According to a highly dubious story that one of the slugger's pals has been telling the tabloids, it was because Hudson wanted to be on camera when she sat in the stands at Yankee Stadium, whereas A-Rod really wanted someone "more interested in building a long-term relationship than just building their profile." [Us]
• As for Hudson, she's dealing with the split from A-Rod by spending some quality time with her movie star parents, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Goldie turned up as Kate's date to the Nine premiere last night. [HL, DM]
Kate Winslet walking her daughter Mia to school ... Veronica Webb hailing a cab on Bleecker Street ... Terry Richardson sitting outside a Starbucks in Soho ... Ed Harris arriving at JFK ... Gretchen Mol pushing her son in a stroller in the West Village ... Shia Labeouf walking by himself downtown ... Naomi Watts leaving her apartment in Noho ... Jessica Simpson arriving at LaGuardia ... Lucy Liu walking her dog ... Isla Fisher shopping with her daughter Olive at FAO Schwarz ... Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy walking in Soho ... and Lily Allen leaving the Waverly Inn.
Did Confessions of a Shopaholic author Sophie Kinsella slip something into David Colman's spritzer when they lunched at Bergdorf's, or was he simply so blissed-out by a visit to his favorite place in the world that he decided to redefine the term "puff piece" when writing up the interview for the Times? The movie, which opens tomorrow and stars Isla Fisher and a parade of Patricia Field outfits, is not poorly timed at all, nor a glorification of shopping, we learn, but functions as "a comical allegory for the last 15 years."
Renee Zellweger and boyfriend Dan Abrams walking around on the Upper East Side ... Hugh Jackman having a picnic in Central Park with his wife and kids ... Daniel Radcliffe leaving Morandi on Waverly Place ... Agyness Deyn walking in the Village ... Kirsten Dunst smoking on the sidewalk ... Isla Fisher arriving at JFK with her daughter Olive ... Whitney Port getting coffee with City co-star Allie Crawford in the West Village ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her townhouse on Charles Street ... Lauren Hutton walking with a friend in the East Village ... Madonna, Guy Ritchie, and the kids heading into the Kabbalah Center ... Amy Adams arriving at JFK ... and Samantha Ronson leaving the Bowery Hotel.
Nathan Lane turns 53 today. Public relations maestro Howard Rubenstein is 77. Blythe Danner is turning 66. Author Paul Auster is turning 62. Real estate heiress Denise LeFrak Calicchio is 67. Actress (and Sacha Baron Cohen fiancée) Isla Fisher is 33. Morgan Fairchild is celebrating her 59th. Actress Maura Tierney is celebrating her 44th. Daddy Yankee is turning 32. And Tallulah Belle Willis, the daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, turns 15 today.
Tumblrer fat manatee points out today just how unfortunately timed the new movie Confessions Of a Shopaholic really is. The film, based on a popular book series, is about a credit-obsessed New York City gal (the previously likable Isla Fisher) who just loves to shop and shriek (a lot) and say zany things like "you speak Prada??" There's a part in the trailer (above) where the Shopaholic animalisticly tries to dig her emergency credit card out of a big block of ice. She'd been keeping it in the freezer, but now she needs to spend! It's like watching a heroin addict lick a diner counter for stray poppy seeds. It's like, a metaphor for now, you know?
When those photos of Isla Fisher dressed up in ridiculous outfits as shopaholic Becky Bloomwood started floating around early last summer, it didn't seem as if Jerry Bruckheimer, the producer of the Confessions of a Shopaholic movie, was taking much of a risk with his frothy, comic chick flick. How was he to know that just six months later, reckless spending and drowning in debt would be a horribly sore subject?
After an achingly long hiatus for all involved — especially for the celebrities observed below — Hollywood PrivacyWatch returns with the very special story of a traffic mishap gone horribly wrong, 90210 stars acting their age (unless you count drinking), and a not-so-quiet brunch. Our regrets for the time off — we'll pick it up in the future. And remember: PrivacyWatch sightings are submitted by Defamer operatives fanned out far and wide, so keep your tips coming. Be sure to include "Sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line — we want every furtive glance to count! This installment's sightings include Kim Kardashian, Kiefer Sutherland, Pierce Brosnan, Farrah Fawcett, Marilyn Manson, Ari Emanuel, Marcia Cross, Isla Fisher, Jon Hamm, Larry Flynt, Chris Robinson, Peter Graves, Shenae Grimes, Dustin Milligan, Lisa Rinna, Bill Walton, William Baldwin, Chynna Phillips, Linda Evans, Gunnar Nelson (!) and more.THURSDAY, SEPT. 4 · Walking through the hallways of a building deep in the heart of Toluca Lake is FARRAH FAWCETT. Farrah raised her head to look me in the eye with a a look that said, "Yes I am Farrah Fawcett and don't talk to me." Farrah had heavy duty perfume situation going on that wafted in the hallway well after she left the building. Christie Brinkley is about the same age as her but Farrah looks like she has been through the ringer and had a rough, rough, hard-drinking, hard-partying, heavy-tanning life. Use sunscreen kids. Use sunscreen. · Tuesday night's Bob Dylan concert at the Santa Monica Civic was ripe with celebrities, and I do mean ripe. NBA legend and Laker dad BILL WALTON couldn't get a reserved seat, he actually got tossed out of his first one that he just bogarted and was forced to stand against the wall, until someone recognized him and gave him a different reserved seat. Fellow Irishmen COLM MEANEY and PIERCE BROSNAN were spotted separately briefly. Anything but standing room only for TV's and former funnyman RICHARD LEWIS. And finally, one of the NELSON BROTHERS, most likely GUNNAR. · I don't know if this counts, but I was having lunch at Porta Via and I spotted SWEET P (Project Runway, season 4) and a friend (boy? husband?). She walked by my table and was stunned when I called her name and that someone recognized her. She is sweet in person. I then had to explain Project Runway to my visiting co-worker from London. He remains confused. SATURDAY, SEPT. 6 · Air Canada flight 744 from LAX to Toronto ... A very laid back and un-made-up MARILYN MANSON (or "Mr. Warner" to the attendants) and Endeavor's ARI EMANUEL (in gym shorts and crocs) in business class, film festival-bound. SUNDAY, SEPT. 7 · Sunday afternoon, Silverlake - walked straight past KIEFER SUTHERLAND and a blonde woman in the Vons supermarket parking lot on Sunset / Hollywood / Virgil / Hillhurst / Sunset Drive. He was carrying the shopping bags (like a gentleman), no doubt stocking up on Haagen-Dazs to watch Britney's big comeback at the VMAs that night. More importantly, what is up with that K-hole of a junction? · ISLA FISHER and baby OLIVE were at the Grove on Sunday between 3:30 and 4:30. Isla was wearing an orange, off the shoulder, embroidered hippie-ish cotton dress (the type popular at Anthropology last year), and little Olive was wearing a mini version of the same thing in white. Her hair was in a loose braid. I saw her first walking through Anthropology (she was disappointed her hippie dresses went out of style) and then later walking into Nordstrom. I was not stalking her; she was stalking me. I am worried Isla does not has any friends in LA— what celebrity goes shopping by herself (babies don't count), at The Grove, on a Sunday? Don't judge me for being at the Grove; sometimes you just wind up there. I'm hopeful she'll have a new posse following her around after her new movie comes out. Either way, she has Sacha Baron Cohen. MONDAY, SEPT. 8 · I was walking my dog when I noticed Topanga from Boy Meets World (DANIELLE FISHEL) at Callender's Grill on Wilshire. She was sitting outside on the patio and in deep discussion with an older woman I didn't recognize. She had on really heavy eyeliner! TUESDAY, SEPT. 9 · Oh poor LARRY FLYNT the Porn King. Saw him at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills. Sweaty, quite icky looking and dazed. That's all I've got to say about that. · St. Louis to LAX Tuesday morning, JON HAMM was in first class. We talked to him at baggage claim, and he was ridiculously nice. The man is also really ridiculously good looking. I can't believe Sterling Cooper allows its employees to fly the friendly skies with American Airlines. WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 10 · Montecito, the lush, obscenely wealthly Santa Barbara enclave is a great little getaway, especially if you go off season as to avoid the onslaught of Hollywood- from Oprah to Cameron Diaz. (I just shuddered.) Ordering a late breakfast at Xanadu when I saw that 2 feet away, WILLIAM BALDWIN and wife CHYNNA PHILLIPS are at a table waiting for their grub. Did not even recognize her. She looked beat- a skeletor-long raggedy hair, in a floor length white totally weird Hare Krishna getup. Not until Billy opened his sexy mouth to call her back inside to eat did I inwardly sigh upon hearing that famous Baldwin voice. Oh that dulcet, mellifluous voice! He looks good. My husband said "Has he done anything since Backdraft? ... Chynna was screeching into her cell; so obnoxious, looking for attention of which she got none, and finally for those of us eating outside, she succumbed to that Baldwin Brother siren-call and went back to her table. Yes sir, that is one good looking guy with a voice that makes my knees buckle. Yum Yum Yummy. Not the omelet, the Baldwin. THURSDAY, SEPT. 11 · One for the ages, PETER GRAVES, looking great for 82, in business class on my flight today from JFK to LAX. Like a dork, I smiled and said “Hi” as I trudged back to coach with the masses. I saw him doing a morning show yesterday (they all blend), some sort of “reunion” with Robert Hayes et. al, and there he was, on my airplane, on September 11th, making me feel better about flying. · MARCIA CROSS, one of TV's Desperate Housewives is sitting with me in AA ECONOMY from STL to LAX right now! How continental. SUNDAY, SEPT. 14 · Saw that guy who plays Ethan (DUSTIN MILLIGAN) and that girl who plays Silver (JESSICA STROUP) on the new version of 90210 having lunch together at Mani's on Fairfax. In this case, lunch meaning that he was eating while she watched. · The place: The Rose Bowl Flea Market. I'd always heard that lots of celebs frequented this, but in almost two years of faithful attendance, I'd never actually seen one. ... But today, I saw CHRIS ROBINSON of the Black Crowes (and ex-Kate Hudson husband), who appeared to be accompanied by a very comely lass. And that's the difference between a rock star and me (an accountant): Chris Robinson gets willowy, hot chicks, and i get girls who look like Chris Robinson. Conclusion: I have taken a severely wrong career path and am in the wrong profession. That is all. MONDAY, SEPT. 15 · Saw the new Brenda (SHENAE GRIMES) and Naomi (ANNALYNNE MCCORD, who incidentally makes me ache for Tori's acting chops) last night at the Belmont. New Brenda is as shockingly adorable in person as on TV but was completely sans trademark smile and actually appeared pouty and pissed at times. She and the even-less-beautiful-in-person Naomi (the new Emily Valentine?), who has overgelled 90's hair and is clearly skinnier than her own body type would prefer, were feverishly chain smoking. They were also HARDcore flirting with their waiter, the only guy there more interested in them than the cowboys and eagles. Between packs of cigarettes the girls were, yep, drinking. I'll save you the trouble of looking it up: New Brenda's only 18. Oooooo! I hope new Jim and Aunt Becky don't find out, new 90210 is boring enough without old 90210's lesson-learned moralizing. TUESDAY, SEPT. 16 · So about an hour ago, 3:15 or so Wednesday afternoon, I'm going for a run along Beverly Blvd. I'm just E of Fairfax on the S side of the street when there's a pretty bad car wreck right in front of me. A westbound car turned left into the CBS gate, and a small car was gunning it eastbound in the lane closest to the sidewalk and didn't see them. So the security guard goes to one car, I tell another car to call 911. No one is critically hurt, but we help the guy who's bleeding pretty bad onto the sidewalk. I go out into the street to stand there and let people know they have to get over cuz one of the mangled cars is sitting in the middle of the intersection. After 5-10 minutes, I see a tow truck and a fire truck coming our way from around Fairfax, but traffic is now pretty jacked so it's slow. The tow truck is all set to come down the emergency lane when this giant black tinted Escalade looking thing cuts in front of it to pass the stalled traffic. Keep in mind the tow truck has flashers on. As the Escalade gets closer, I'm waving my hands to tell it to get over, but it won't. Then I notice the chick driving is on her cell, holding it up to her ear. I walk up to her car now, hit the passenger side door and say "get over - there's a tow truck and a fire truck behind you - there's been a bad accident." At this point, she rolls down the window to reveal her KIM KARDASHIAN self [...] who tells me "Don't you touch my car." I thought, "Are you fucking kidding me?! there's a guy on the sidewalk with his head bleeding." I then screamed at her "Are you fucking kidding me?! There's a guy on the sidewalk with his head bleeding!!" to which she responds "I know, but don't touch my car." She finally merges into the other lane and jams it through the yellow light to make the intersection. She said "I know?" I KNOW that I'm holding up rescue in my tinted-ass Escalade looking thing and on my cell, but the only thing I care about is not to hit my car. I hate humanity. WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 17 · Saw LINDA EVANS at the Intercontinental bar last night. Fortunately she left before I had my third martini — otherwise I would've hummed the Dynasty theme to her. TODAY · LISA RINNA working out at Fitness Factory with her trainer. Her face looked like the clay pot in the movie Ghost after Patrick Swayze fucked it up.
When choosing between months of intensive studies spent hunched over a Torah preparing for your kiddushin (that's betrothal for you goyum, which are non-Jews for you...non-Jews), and becoming a big star, it seems Isla Fisher has decided to go with the latter. As the Daily Mail reports, the potential redheaded successor to Lucille Ball's slapstick throne has put off the conversion process in order to complete filming Confessions Of A Shopaholic. And fiance Sacha Baron Cohen's ultra-religious parents just don't see what all this movie stardom fuss is all about. The wedding date has reportedly been postponed, Cohen's gone back to making Israelis cry as Bruno, and the wee Cohen baby is presumably in the hands of the only au pair they could find who hasn't seen Borat. But Fisher isn't the first actress to undergo conversion to Judaism for a guy — from Liz Taylor to Connie Chung, a diverse handful of stars became Jews in the name of love, though not every shattered wine glass led to a happy ending...