Porn performer James Deen will not discuss his Canyons costar Lindsay Lohan. But he will discuss his experiences with gay sex, both onscreen—in Paul Schrader’s aforementioned bizarrely mesmerizing and already-storied thriller—and in his real life. What does that say about a performer whose heterosexuality is a commodity that’s sold countless straight porn movies, including Farrah Abraham’s “sex tape?”
Farrah Abraham continues her it's-not-a-porno media tour regarding the porno that she did with porno god James Deen, which includes a quintessentially porno shot of her porno vagina squirting porniferously. Abraham maintains that Backdoor Teen Mom is a sex tape, something originally intended for her own private use that should never require, oh you know, a media tour. She maintains this, you see, because Farrah Abraham thinks she is smarter than you. What a clown.
It’s not all that surprising that Farrah Abraham shot and sold a sex tape. Every reward America has ever given Farrah has been a direct result of her having sex. In 2009, America rewarded Farrah—then a popular cheerleader at Thomas Jefferson High School in Council Bluffs, Iowa—with her own episode of MTV's 16 and Pregnant. Next, it rewarded her with a starring role on four seasons of Teen Mom. Now it’s rewarded her with a paycheck in the “high six figures” for a sex tape she shot with porn star James Deen. She’s already been rewarded for that with an endorsement deal in the “low six figures," for hawking a raspberry-flavored weightloss pill.
As number-one-mom Farrah Abraham continues to act like her "secret private sex tape" with porn giant James Deen was leaked to Vivid Entertainment against her will — "I KNOW WHAT'S OUT- Don't talk to me about it:) Thanks #XXX," she just tweeted — the company best known for making Kim Kardashian a thing has finally unleashed upon an unsuspected public the full force of Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom.
The Internet is for two things and two things only: Porn and memes. Why, then, did it take this long for someone to put the two together?
The first trailer for the much-anticipated James Deen-Lindsay Lohan bangfest The Canyons is finally here. It's about what you'd expect: lots of violence, sex, and sleazy-looking LA action. The film, written by Paris Hilton-defender Bret Easton Ellis and directed by Taxi Driver scribe Paul Schrader, lacks both a release date and, judging from the trailer, dialogue.