Tonight in the first round of the NBA playoffs, the Miami Heat’s Dwyane Wade made several remarkable shots to force a Game 7 against the Charlotte Hornets. Jeb Bush, who has nothing better to do than tweet about basketball like the rest of us, celebrated the heroic performance by mangling the spelling of Wade’s first name in the exact way a small child might.
Today, a man named Al Hoffman has a column in The USA Today, the paper of record of America’s airports. At the bottom of the column, it is noted that Hoffman was once George W. Bush’s ambassador to Portugal, just so you get a feel for the type of person we’re dealing with here. Hoffman, as he writes in the column, spent the last several months fundraising for Jeb Bush’s too-big-to-fail presidential campaign, which, of course, failed spectacularly.
“Anyone can aspire to be President of the United States, but few have any hope of becoming President of the Bohemian Club,” Richard Nixon reportedly once said. But for a kid growing up in Sonoma County, California near the Bohemian Grove, the club’s ultra-exclusive campground, getting a service job there was easy.
Remember the rich guy who gave away a personal fortune to a 26-year-old Times Square psychic in hopes of reuniting with his dead ex-girlfriend? Mike Murphy, who drained the extremely moneyed conservative super PAC Right to Rise trying to get Jeb Bush to the White House, proudly played the role of that man in this year’s election.
The wreckage of Jeb Bush’s foredoomed campaign has already inspired dozens of articles about the mistakes and miscalculations that led donors, consultants, and Bush himself to believe he had a shot at winning the 2016 race. This genre of journalism reliably offers revealing anecdotes and bitchy anonymous quotes about a campaign’s internal dysfunction. The journalists on Bush’s case, however, seem preoccupied not with behind-the-scenes drama, but with the question of Bush’s soul. Indeed, four reports published in the last four days have emphasized that Bush is “human.” That seems like a trend!
On Saturday, even as political reporters put the finishing touches on their Jeb Bush postmortems—do: “Fall of the house of Bush: how Jeb fell victim to hype, hysteria...and himself”; don’t: “Fall of the House of Bush: How last name and Donald Trump doomed Jeb”—the candidate and his super PAC gave us one more morbid look at the finances of a failing political dynasty.
As you may have heard, Jeb Bush’s campaign is no more. That doesn’t mean we can’t reminisce about our favorite moments, on and off the campaign trail, from the past eight months. Can you even believe it’s been that long? Anyway: You can discuss your favorite Jeb! moments in the comments below. It’s (probably) the healthiest way to grieve dead political campaigns.