Joaquin Phoenix told an elaborate story about yoga last night on the Late Show, wildly acting out a position called "harnessing the hog," which apparently involved his instructor cradling his man-bits with a strap. The punchline: They started dating and are now engaged.
Here's the trailer for Spike Jonze's upcoming film Her, starring Joaquin Phoenix as Mr. Lonely Bones, Amy Adams as the perennial cute lady in his life, and Scarlett Johansson as a sexy set of sounds. Is it already making a commentary on modern love and instant gratification and the confluence of technology and emotional attachment? Maybe!
Time has passed, but Joaquin is back in Dave's interview chair. The clean-shaven star tries to apologize and promote the film that used his last Letterman interview as its backbone, but Dave isn't one to forgive, not for free anyway.
Here's a trailer for the much head-scratched-about documentary, I'm Still Here, about Joaquin Phoenix's descent into (faux) madness, abandoning his movie career and embarking on a rap career. His brother-in-law Casey Affleck directs and, judging from this, it's dumb.
Jamie Tworkowski, the founder of the charity To Write Love on Her Arms, explains that the strange title was inspired by a video that Phoenix directed for the band She Wants Revenge inspired his fund, which is trying to get a $1 million grant for suicide prevention. Then Miley shows up to show Phoenix how to use the internet and he pretends to not know who she or Lady Gaga are. We actually believe this is true and not an act. Then he has to show Liv Tyler how to log into Facebook and she says she doesn't have an account. We also believe this is true. Then they pretend they are friends with Miley. We believe this is false and the old Joaquin would bite of her pinky and smile at the camera with blood dripping down his chin. We miss the old Joaquin.
2009 had its fair share of things that didn't go exactly according to plan. F-bombs, dry-humping, real humping, and lots of unforeseen stupidity. Here are the 12 best things that weren't supposed to happen on TV, but luckily, they did.
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad turns 53 today. The richest man on the planet, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates, is turning 54. Julia Roberts celebrates her 42nd birthday today. Conan sidekick Andy Richter is turning 43. Joaquin Phoenix is 35. Bruce Jenner, the former athlete and current stepdad to the Kardashian clan, is turning 60. The CEO of Pepsi, Indra Nooyi, is turning 54. Singer/songwriter Ben Harper is 40. Actress Lauren Holly is 46. Actor Dennis Franz is turning 65. And former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres turns 35 today.
• Carson Daly has two reasons to get wasted today: It's St. Patrick's Day, of course. Plus he and his girlfriend Siri Pinter are new parents, too. [People]
• Jon Stewart's secret weapon in his rumble with Jim Cramer last week? His brother, Larry Leibowitz, is a senior exec at NYSE Euronext. [P6]
• A judge recalled Lindsay Lohan's arrest warrant yesterday after seeing the proof that she hadn't stopped attending a court-ordered alcohol education class after all. Also: She hasn't checked into rehab again despite reports to the contrary. Not yet, at least. [NYDN, OK!]
• Natasha Richardson was hospitalized yesterday and is now in critical condition after a skiing accident in Montreal. [People]