Used to be Angelina Jolie showed everyone she was a wild angel by allowing the actor Billy Bob Thornton to perform acts of coitus with her and having a godawful dragon tattoo. Now that she's more mature, she has to dream up new ways to subvert our perceptions—of what a bride should wear on her wedding day; of what is and is not appropriate to do with the actor Billy Bob Thornton.
- Nearly three years ago, Lindsay Lohan scrawled "Scarlett [Johansson] is a bloody cunt" on a bathroom wall at the Dark Room on the Lower East Side. Allure finally asked Johansson about the incident: "I don't know what the motivation was behind that. I remember it was something really vulgar—I mean, shockingly so, like 'Whoa, what, who are you?'"
The suspicious birth of Suri Cruise was met with a local outbreak of the bubonic plague, so we can't say we're all that surprised that another monumental celebrity infant arrival was met with a fresh wave of pestilence. The death toll should stop at three, however, as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie rush to the outbreak site, knowing that exposure to the Chosen One will immediately cure those afflicted with the mystery disease.