On Tuesday, Secretary of State John Kerry arrived in Kiev—$1 billion in guaranteed loans for Ukraine in tow—as Russian President Putin backtracked somewhat, saying military force would be used only as a "last resort," though he maintained the right to use "all options" in the crisis. Meanwhile, the Crimean prime minister told reporters that the majority of Ukrainian troops in Crimea have either surrendered or pledged allegiance to his government.
A day after Secretary of State John Kerry called last week's alleged chemical attack on Syrian civilians a "moral obscenity," Syrian foreign minister Walid al-Moallem challenged the U.S. to provide evidence of chemical warfare, and said the country will defend itself "using all means available" in the event of a U.S. strike.
Botox Mom Kerry Campbell (who might not be "Kerry Campbell" at all, but a multi-named mystery chupacabra of indeterminate origin) has returned to The Sun, the publication where her insanity spree began, to apologize for shooting botulism into her 8-year-old daughter's face, then bragging about it on TV.
Remember that terrible mother who said she gives Botox and "virgin waxes" to her 8-year-old daughter to improve her chances at beauty pageants? Good Morning America tracked her down. Apparently Kerry Campbell—an aesthetician who regularly injects botulims into her daughter's face—is real, and says she's doing nothing wrong.