Traffic piled up outside of Reno, Nevada early Thursday afternoon after a tractor trailer carrying over 42,000 pounds of ketchup crashed, spilling the condiment across a highway. The accident occurred after the truck swerved to avoid a car, causing it to veer into a light pole and then into the underpass of a bridge, ripping open the cargo area. There were no injuries, though; just literally tons of ketchup.
The customer is always right — unless the customer is a person that wants to put ketchup on his Philly cheesesteak. Because, what the fuck? This is an indisputable fact backed up by sandwich artist Lawrence Ordone, pictured at left, who was fired from a Subway in Orange County, Fla. — side note: Florida!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — after refusing to put ketchup on a cheesesteak ordered by Luis Martinez, pictured at right. Then Ordone kicked over a chair and tried to fight him.
The concerned swamp monsters over at Fox & Friends did a little profile in courage this morning, focusing on a young woman named Hannah Lucas who is saying NO to B. H. Obama's healthier school food initiatives.
In July, a Brazilian hitman named Carlos Roberto de Jesus was paid a little over $500 by a jealous housewife to kill Iranildes Aguiar Araujo — another woman she suspected of having an affair with her husband. But Carlos broke Rule Number One of the Hitman's Handbook, the Daily Mail reports. He forgot to check his heart at the door.
This video is really helpful, but to what extent? If you're in a situation where you are making your own ketchup (or catsup if you must) shouldn't you reevaluate Dad's standing job offer at the dealership?