Kim Jong-il Has Died on a Train

Seth Abramovitch · 12/18/11 10:07PM

Kim Jong-il, the fearsome, furtive, and fashion-forward leader of North Korea, is dead at age 69. This according to a weeping announcer on a "special broadcast" delivered on North Korean television on Monday. The Dear Leader was on a train traveling through Pyongyang during a "field guidance tour" at the time.

Another Day, Another Threat from North Korea

Jeff Neumann · 06/03/11 06:50AM

You could spend hours coming up with strong contenders for the title of world's most thankless job, but how about any job that involves negotiating with North Korea? That would have to be up there.

No More Kim Jong-il Target Practice In South Korea

Jeff Neumann · 06/01/11 04:15AM

South Korean soldiers have been ordered to stop using pictures of Kim Jong-il, his daddy Kim Il-sung, and cherublike son Kim Jong-un for target practice after images of the targets surfaced in newspapers there this week. That should really help to restore normal relations between the two countries.

Kim Jong Il Takes China By Storm

Seth Abramovitch · 05/24/11 12:40AM

North Korea's lesbian chic leader Kim Jong-Il just arrived in China. He's there seeking solutions to his country's "chronic shortages of food, fuel and other necessities." (Translation: "Sunglasses shopping spree!")

Kim Jong-Un's New Hat Is Proof He's Taking Over North Korea

Jeff Neumann · 01/31/11 08:38AM

No one has so far been able to prove that Kim Jong-il's son, Kim Jong-un, is being groomed to take over North Korea... until now. Analysts and defectors have concluded that Little Kim's new fur hat proves he's taking power.

Totalitarianism Never Tasted So Good

Jeff Neumann · 01/22/11 02:53PM

[Dear Leader Kim Jong-il eats a tasty biscuit in this photo released today by the Korean Central News Agency. Image via AP]