Pope Francis is the chillest pope that the Vatican has ever seen: uttering "fuck" at weekly blessings, admiring chocolate statues of himself, picking up hitchhikers in his tricked-out Popemobile. But now the man in charge of thousands of precious documents wants the underlings of the internet to have access.
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Libraries, you will recall, are playgrounds for terrorists—which is why George W. Bush and Dick Cheney made sure the that PATRIOT Act empowered the FBI to rummage through library records with impunity and without a warrant, confidentiality be damned. But now that there's a lawsuit seeking records from their presidential libraries, Bush and Cheney are hiding behind the Librarian's Code.
The above video depicts a female student having a meltdown in the library at Cal State Northridge on Tuesday. Despite several reports to the contrary, the video was recorded and first posted to Facebook by a CSUN student named Ashley Monroe, who claimed in comments below it that the altercation began after the girl demanded others in the library "not breathe loud[ly]."
When this old man is pretty broken up about the closure of the local library, his reactions turn from funny, to sad, to funny again. What you are about to see is a code blue case of the sads.
Seriously, who isn't returning their library books? The failure to return borrowed books is a very real, very pressing problem these days. We've brought you two jail-time examples of rogue library borrowers this week alone. Now we've received a list of various offenders from the fuzz—a Southern library is being robbed of their possession of something called The Amazing Panda Adventure! Don't worry: the police department is on the case.