If the Republican debates are the second greatest televised spectacle about matters that are only slightly abutting reality, then the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion specials are the first. Here is a ranking of how each woman fared in last night's fiasco.
Last night when fortifying myself for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion, I realized it had a lot in common with that other great reality show of this year: the Republican Debates. Yes, there will be a million of them, everyone in attendance is ridiculous, nothing will get decided, and there will be a lot of yelling across the room.
Oooooh snap, girlfriend honeychild, Taylor and Russell broke up. MMMhhhmmm. And now Russell is dead. And we had to watch it. It's just another night here on Paradise Island of the Beverly Hills Housewives, where everything is vacations and parties and too-small bikinis. Yes, no one has a care in the world.
Last night was a good old-fashioned Western in the rolling hills of Beverly. There were cowboys and showdowns and horses and homes on the range and even some wenches in fancy corsets. But when high noon came none of the little dogies could get along.
Last night the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills made their grand television debut. While the ladies were fabulous, the clear stand-out was Lisa VanderPump's dog Jiggy. Inside, a video tribute to the adorable pup's screentime on the show's premiere.