It seems that Nice's favorite "very, very nice" patient and her well-appointed womb has taken a turn toward Grumpyville. Nearing the end of her seemingly endless gestation period, Angelina Jolie has grown tired of her hospital/hotel and its Michelin Star-less menu and has started demanding that salmon be brought in from other Clooney-approved restaurants. And, more ominously, reports have surfaced that Jolie has abandoned her strict one-shower-a-day regimen. A collective gasp...
At some point in all our lives, we must ask ourselves: to tattoo or not to tattoo? We have yet to take the plunge, but when and if we do, we most certainly will not be inking our bodies with Pee Wee Herman, Bald Britney or (gasp!) Patrick Swayze as a centaur. But as a photo gallery over at EW proves, there are more than enough insane fans out there who are so in love with their favorite stars that they've etched a permanent image of their visage on their bodies. One might think a popular celebrity tat would be, say, Pamela Anderson or Scarlett Johansson, or maybe even Brangelina. But, sadly, it seems the sort of fan who goes through the pain of imprinting rainbow-colored images of their idols are mainly of the Jack Jordan stalker variety. The bad, the ugly, and the downright nightmarish tattoos in question, after the jump.
Whatever quasi-Chosen One Maddox Jolie-Pitt wants, he will get. Even if he walks into a candy store and the first thing he lays his pretty eyes on is a pack of gum labeled "I Heart My Penis." And we couldn't be more thrilled to report that mom/saint Angelina Jolie hasn't given up her kinky ways just because she's a grown women with a soccer team for a family. As an Us source claims, "[Angelina] laughed and bought it." If you'll allow us one crude attempt at humor on this Friday afternoon, we're left wondering this: if little Mad hearts his penis now, what's he gonna do when puberty hits? Here's hoping there's an "I Really, Really Heart My Penis" gum brand in the works. [Us]
The parents of students at the Lycée Français de New York have had to be restrained by their own schmancy school, the Observer tells us; it seems they lose it a bit in the presence of new fellow parents Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. The school's memo to parents: "Regretfully, I have seen some parents taking pictures, asking for autographs, talking to the media and even shouting at Ms. Jolie and Mr. Pitt for recognition." That is so uncouth! Everyone knows that New Yorkers are too cool to pay attention to celebrities. God, what is this, L.A.? Their poor child Maddox is apparently so troubled by Manhattanites' celebrity obsessions that when he and his fellow kindergartners were asked to bring in a picture of themselves, he started crying. Do you see what you terrible New Yorkers have done to him now, by forcing him into the limelight and also by selling those pictures of him to People magazine?