David Blaine's hyper-hyped ABC special Real Or Magic finally aired last night, and while it may not have been all that magical, it definitely was really funny.
Labor Day is a complete rip-off. Labor isn't celebrated at all—instead, a single day's break from labor is celebrated. You might think this is a stupid thing to care about, because Labor Day is really just about getting drunk in your yard, again. But that's actually evidence of this very successful con job pulled on you, the American worker (or unemployed person, or discouraged worker, or "grad student"). You probably don't even believe in Labor Day.
A new class of debonair Jay Gatsbys has emerged to instant wealth (and, presumably, inevitable tragedy) this week, as the Federal Trade Commission began parceling out $40M in checks to idiotic lazy boneses all over this great land. Office workers; toll booth operators; big boned teen girls with body types that might be described as "athletic" (but not by an athlete)—all of them (509,175 in total) called up their bosses and said "I'm quitting my job because starting today, I am rich!"
Opening public meetings with a magic trick or two can help you engage with your audience and ease them into the seemingly endless boredom-torture to come—but use discretion! Tricks that involve disappearing coins are probably fine. Tricks that involve disappearing women's undergarments are probably... not fine?
An out-of-work bricklayer living in Guadalajara claims to have found an actual fairy while picking fruit. He then did what anyone lucky enough to stumble upon such a rare and magical creature as this might do: He placed the fairy in a container of formaldehyde, and is charging people to look at it.